When I was growing up, physical discipline was a common way African parents used to correct their children. Any form of misbehavior, a sharp cane will land on you to reset your brain.
At times, my stepmom will force us to kneel down and carry a heavy chair on our heads for hours before landing her cane on us like thieves. To her, she shouldn't spoil us by sparing the rod, but then, the physical discipline was extreme, and each time I remember it as an adult, bitterness sets in.
But in our world today, a lot are changing, and some parents are beginning to rethink the impact of physical discipline in the life of a child. If I should be sincere, the physical discipline topic is a sensitive one. This is because the generation we are today, with social media exposure, disrespect, and stubbornness, is on the increase, and so every parent is finding ways to ensure they raise responsible kids amidst all odds.
At times, I see children talk to adults anyhow and go scot-free, and I remember those days with our African parents. People feel that children are now treated softly these days and that the only thing that could make them behave well is corporal punishment. However, there is a big difference between discipline and abuse. As a mom of three boys, I know how hurtful words and some actions leave a mark on children. I was there in such an environment; physical punishments go with harsh words, and it affected me emotionally.
So personally, I strive not to allow the same experience to happen to my kids in the name of correcting them. Every correction must not end in beating. I know I got angry one day and flogged my son over his repeated mistakes. I was literally frustrated and didn't care about anything but unleashing my anger on him. What I noticed later was that the boy became so much afraid of me; instead of feeling remorse for what he did wrong, he started detaching himself from me, and no one advised me to stay intentional with my corrections, but then it doesn't mean I allow my kids to behave anyhow without discipline, but I ensure that it should teach them, not abuse them.
Some beatings parents give to their children don't bring any solution; they do so out of anger or even stress/frustratiin , and in that state, you may go wrong with your discipline, and it becomes abuse.
On the other hand, some parents nowadays allow everything, so they are permissive, raising children that grow without any boundary, and later in life, it becomes a case study. I believe we should never abandon discipline but find a good approach to it. For me, I discipline, and I ensure you receive consequences for every one of your bad behaviors. I ensure you know why you are corrected. Like today, I deprived my son of attending Children's Day celebration because he lied to me. This discipline touched him so hard, and that's what I want. I may beat him, and he feels the pain and forgets. Tomorrow he may lie again; there are still cases I beat, but it's rare.
Overall, I find balance, and most importantly, I strive to nurture kids who understand values, respect, and responsibility even when they are alone.
Image was taken from canva
