Published via Ecency

I've seen so much demonization of the silent treatment. People talk about how it is bad and how lovers are not supposed to react with the silent treatment whenever they are angry with their partners and all.

For conceptualization, the silent treatment is when a person is angry or offended and they decide not to speak to you, they withdraw, sometimes physically, and they don't talk or engage with you for a while; sometimes days or weeks or months: whatever they decide.

In so many discussions online and offline I've people talk about how the silent treatment is bad and not the way to go. I've even seen supposed relationship experts condemn it.

But people don't realize that the silent treatment or leaving quietly and keeping your distance when you are angry is the best response when angry.

Because what other options do you have? When angry your only other options are quarrelling or throwing punches or slaps. No other options.

Think about it. When angered, apart from withdrawing silently, what are all the ways you're pushed to react? Shouting, quarrelling, insulting, or physically attacking the person who has just made you angry, is it not?

Do you want to say staying back to talk about it calmly is one of the options? Who can do that in the heat of anger?

You should be happy that your partner chose the most peaceful and honourable reaction when they are angry, they didn't shout or attack you, they just withdrew their attention/presence and kept their distance, and you should be grateful for that. You should give them time to cool off and then you beg, and let them take their time.

That is not emotional abuse, except you didn't do anything to warrant it, but people criticizing the reaction are not saying it is about not doing anything to warrant it, it's about how the reaction is bad and abusive. Clearly they're saying yes they did something to warrant anger but they don't like that reaction to anger.

If you got someone angry and all the person did was go silent and refuse to talk to you they have reacted in the only acceptable way there is, because their other options are shouting, insulting, or assaulting.

In fact domestic abuse is a result of people not using the silent treatment more, if more people did many brutal relationships would be better. When a partner gets angry instead of lashing out they leave quietly, the one who got them angry begs until forgiveness is reached, and if they'll never get forgiven because what they did was too grave or the offended party is done, then no problem. No one got physically hurt.

There's a problem with people getting someone angry and trying to decide how the person is supposed to react with the anger even when the person has chosen the most peaceful reaction possible.

The End

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