I knew this day would come, I knew it had to come, I never wanted it to come, I have dreaded it getting here. Don’t worry we are ‘Downsizing, It’s Time to Leave’, I know we have talked this through and through, there is no turning back, but it’s so hard.
Now it’s here and my heart is breaking. So strange that life has passed so quickly and now I must pack it up and move on, my final move, that word ‘final’ is awful.
Yes, I know your father is battling with the stairs and I know it’s dangerous, but we manage. OK, I hear you, I am doing it, the move is happening.
So have packed the bedrooms and still, I found some of your old stuffed toys and the memories rush back, I see you as a toddler and I laugh out loud. The dressing table drawer was stuffed with your old scrunchies can you believe it.
I found some of your high school photos, and a photo of ‘Peter’, wasn’t he your first proper boyfriend? I liked him, what happened to him?
I had the painters in yesterday but I wouldn’t let them paint over the growth chart I have on my bedroom door frame, it’s crazy to imagine you being so small. Then I found ‘the tooth fairy basket’ that we used to collect your baby teeth, do you remember?
I am putting all these things in a basket for you to keep. I even have your old hockey stick but have been using it for years to move things on the top of the cupboard, I won’t need it anymore.
I have put all the Christmas decorations into a box and it’s marked ‘Christmas’ your Christmas stockings are in there. I loved Christmas, putting up the tree, stuffing the stockings and finally Christmas morning, your shrieks of delight and surprise, the laughter and the noise, they were so exciting.
Downsizing, It’s Time to Leave!
I have stacks of photos and won’t be able to keep all of them, I have put them in a box, you might want to look through them.
Phew, the day has been busy, so now sitting and having a cup of tea and staring out at the acorn tree, you remember the one your Dad planted when we first arrived. You used to try and find the Easter bunny under it, remember we buried the easter eggs around its trunk. It’s so big now, and the rose tree I bought when granny died is in full bloom.
I always thought is such a good idea to remember people via plants, it’s as if a part of them is still here.
Your swing is still hanging and can hear the echoes of laughter from you two beautiful children of mine. The daffodils have passed now but will be back again next spring, I love watching them come to life, this garden has such rhythm, I feel a part of it.
We have decided to get rid of the big old Land Rover, we will hardly need that now, seeing it is only me who drives. Who needs a 4X4 to go grocery shopping?
Will miss doing the trails into the countryside, parking up next to the tent on yet another fishing trip! Yes, I know I used to complain about these, on reflection I think they may have been the best times of my life. So simple, yet so peaceful, so restful, I know your father hankers after his younger self. He loved the outdoors and roughing it.
Of course, the new place is much smaller, it’s difficult deciding on what to take and what to leave. We are sort of going back to when we first started out, in a little place with hardly any furniture, so strange. Hmm, maybe we will be like newlyweds? Somehow, I don’t think so.
So slowly I am saying goodbye. It’s really hard but am trying to be positive. This is a lovely home and I hope the new people appreciate it.
The movers come tomorrow and so onto to new beginnings. I hear the community centre has lot’s going on! Still, the cottage has a great view of the lake which Dad will love, maybe he will even drop a line into the water. That would be great.
We plan to leave early in the morning ahead of the removal truck, I am packing us a lunch. The next time I speak to you will be from our new home, our final home.
Lots of love
Mum
