Holding something very dear to you is one of the reasons you continue on striving. It's like a dream that if you'll forget it. You don't want to live anymore. If you don't have dreams then of course you'll ask yourself "why I'm doing my best if I don't have reason to do it?" It will be like a path for you to move on.
"What am I thinking up until now?"
I don't want to think about it when slowly my dreams are failing. I'm in a place right now of hoping to change the life that I have. I want to change it because that kind of life is not what I imagined if I have a family. But then as from what are happening everyday it seems it's far from coming true. Still, I chose to stay and believe that it will come true.
Yesterday night I was being told to my sister that I was wasted. I wasted the time and the money that she invested for me. You know it's very painful in my case because of what is currently happening in the world right now. I was hurt and disappointed why she thought like that when she knew for a fact that I'm struggling of the situation I don't want it to happen.
I still chose not to lose my hope because if I will. There's nothing I'm going to prove to them. I don't want to end up as a failure for the whole of my life. I'm so tired to hear the bad actions that I did long ago and always be reminded when they will be mad at me. Tears can't ease the pain for now but it's like just tormenting me.
"Why I'm still holding on?"
It's simple, I want something to happen in my life. Failure is not an option now or to think it's fine for now. For me I won't be fine for it because it's like a bad words into my life. Even though my life is hard here. I refuse to go home and be like a pet in our house. Maybe it's time for me to stand up in my own legs and hands.
There is no assurance that it will happen easily. But I'm sure that it will happen if I will be serious in achieving it.
thank you for reading
d' dreamboy,
