A simple question and like a stupid question for someone who is doing fine, but for whose not, it's a serious question. For someone who is experiencing bad happenings, it's like a slap that someone might hope had never been asked. Why would someone ask this, you thought? You asked in response because you didn't know how to answer. You didn't know if you would answer or just show a glimpse. That's how we reply if we are unsure what to say.
Now, how are you? A question for someone and can be a question for me. Failures side by side, disappointments day after day, feeling miserable is always in your mind. Did you think by hearing this question that you are confident to answer it with, "I'm not fine?" or maybe you will just reply with a glimpse, you feel embarrassed after all. "I'm not fine" for me is the hardest word I can say, we are not the same so maybe not on your behalf.
I don't know how to say "I'm not okay." My mind provided shameful criticism from those people that made me think how can I say I'm not okay. What if they will just think I'm dramatic, just want to have their attention, or what's worse they will think I'm not suitable to feel that way. We are all aware that judger-eyes, they looked at you like you did something wrong, they looked at you like you would do anything well, and they looked at you bad.
People decided to be alone not because they wanted it, simply because they just avoided those false judgments. Who wants to live alone when it will just give someone a sad feeling. We want to live in this world full of happiness, it's obvious none wants to have that heavy feeling in the heart. That's why if you asked someone but answered with just a smile or stay quiet. You now have an idea what's the meaning of those unclear answers.
For now, don't think bad or don't think I will not believe you if you will answer you're not okay. This is me who is asking and who wants to hear the same question from anyone. When do I ask you how are you? Can you ask me back? It's not just you who wants to hear this question. No need to be ashamed because if you tell me you're not okay. I will tell you I'm not as well and I want someone to talk to and that's the reason I will ask first. I want to break that ice to start a peaceful conversation where we will not be hesitant to state the burdens we are feeling.
How are you? If you will not answer me then let me tell you first I'm not okay, for you not to think I will just judge you. In times of loneliness because of many things. Don't hesitate to talk to someone, like me when I have this type of feeling. I need someone to be with to let my emotions go out. It's a simple way of expressing myself but it will help so much to think I'm not alone. It's important not to think that way for you to be able to keep on fighting despite the unfair happenings in your life.
Be brave to speak about the worries, you are not alone, all of us have distress for sure. We just thought some don't because they're like you, don't say a word, again just like you don't know how to express it. Sometimes being able to pull someone from the depth they were drowning in is not enough. We need to drown ourselves as well so we could tell why someone drowned from this water. It's like eating food, we can not really tell if it's delicious by just hearing a word from others. We should taste it by ourselves to figure out how delicious it will be for us and how it will not be for others. Don't dive into presumptions right away if we are serious about helping someone.
To approach someone is hard because of that illusionary border. Remove it by talking first, "how are you" is not a bad way to approach someone and with a smile. If someone asks you this, don't be afraid to say "I'm not okay", the pleasant conversation will be started with these simple words. Don't hide if there's something you want to happen. The first step will be onto us and not by someone.
" HOW ARE YOU?"
Thank you for reading
images are mine
d' dreamboy,
