Hellraiser *HULU (2022)
But First A Side Note
YES! Movie reviews are ramping back up this week proper, along with some new jazz we're hocking out on you fools, with the gusto! Whut?
WARNING OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE AHEAD
I mean right from the jump we didn't give a fuck. The setup looks stupid, the cast look like gravy mongoloid toads, (all of them) & the FX already suffer from modernity reliance on CG.
I don't even get how you can make a Hellraiser movie & make everything about it look so neat & perfect. Where's the dirt & grime? Where's the natural, visceral uneasyness?
The cenobites are meant to look foreboding & evil, but they just look like a very crisp video game enemy mob. Like it looks as if they filtered over the practical makeup job & made everything smooth & shitty.
They look like a joke straight up, & the box? Looks & acts like a diabetic sex toy instead of the traditional cube of my namesake. I'm all for doing new things or spicing up a remake if its done right, but with the asthetics looking like this, & the lead actress looking like some hobo, I have 0 faith in this film delivering anything other than straight up shit.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, there will be a TV show coming to HBO. I think this will be more akin to the actual novella The Hellbound Heart. That I think would be better than trying to go the route Hulu is attempting.
The sad part is, spergs will enjoy this reboot, as they have 0 clue how to look deeper than the surface, & I wonder if this trend of processed food like cinema will continue.
Nevertheless, the gang & I will be siting down to watch this once it releases on 10/7/22.
