In time past and up till now, we've learnt that we should always be open about our problems so we could get help and get them sorted out but I'm here to tell you all that...
"A problem shared is a problem half solved" doesn't work anymore or maybe it's just my country that have upgraded the saying to "A problem shared is a topic for gossip".
I totally agree with the upgraded one because I've seen too many instances that are like that, even I have heard another talk so freely about something I've been keeping as a secret with another... It's just like that.
In some cases, you never know you're listening to your own problem from another's mouth because they've modified it for you. You'll be like "What? So someone in this life is living like that? Oh what a pity!" to your own problem that you shared with a supposed friend who has another friend that is your friend too... Find a way to understand what I'm trying to say.
Some days ago, I was in a discussion and the topic was on depression and how it has been leading a lot of people to having suicidal thoughts. Among all other way outs they shared, there was just one I didn't like much and wouldn't recommend if I was given the chance to.... That is, talking to a friend about your problem.
I'm not saying you shouldn't speak up when you're faced with a situation you know you can't handle but seriously, not to friends that brings up people issues to you before or to that friend that you're very sure he or she is a pretender... They are clear signs that your problem will become a topic for gossip.
I have a perfect scenario to share about this and guess what! It happened just two days ago, my memory is still very fresh on it.
I was inside my room thinking in peace how to rob a bank to eat my cravings (Sharwama and chilled yoghurt from the best bakery) when I heard loud shouts just outside my door and I went out immediately to find out what was causing it. Only to go out and I saw my neighbour shouting at her boyfriend who was also shouting and all I could hear was...
You are pregnant right? Come and take money for the abortion
I'm not pregnant, foolish man 😂
Trust me, it sounded more funny than what you're reading here now because I wasn't the only one caught laughing, the others who were trying to hold the fight from getting worse were laughing and holding. I hate to hold fights especially these kinds that involves a couple (they will settle later and attack you if you're not prayerful enough).
The school couple quarreled for almost one hour while I was looking and they continued to repeat the same words with almost everything making no sense. But one thing was sure, they were breaking up that day... Maybe later, the guy will come back to beg and she will accept him back then we wait for another one to two months to hold fight again.
While they were quarrelling, the guy held another neighbour and was telling her everything his girlfriend (our supposed pregnant neighbour) told him about her. That was when we heard a lot of secret talks the two ladies had inside this hostel of ours... Some of our mouths went wide open, others were like "Gossip gone wrong".
After the whole fight went peaceful and the guy left, the two girls started their own banter about when exactly they talked about things like that... The story was long and deep but I'll end here because it's looking like I was given a topic for gossip when I heard their problem (I know I'm not a gossip).
So in all I'm saying, try to be strong for your own problems and get them sorted out... Not telling it to people who would only add to them for you (it's optional though).
There are still people who would listen and it will die there but I think there are more gossipers than such people so be mindful when you tell your problems out.