Heehk hohck mahanny!! It's Burns Night!
Not only do we have the joy of a regular Saturday beer night we have the joyous Scottish commemoration of our favourite poet. A man who spoke in bizarre wee riddles which captivated the land!
Burns night is a time for celebration and that celebration is most often accompanied by a wee dram of whisky. For those not in the know, dram quite almost literally means dead man's hand in Old Scots.
Well, what could be better than a wee whisky drunk from a dead man's hand? Perhaps a wee whisky beer in a live Boom-meister's hand!
That's right mother punks. I am full-on whisky beer, gluggity daft tonight!
Hurrah!
The first is the famous black and tan beer. Oh yes, the beer which spawned a song or a song which spawned a beer. Who the heck knows but whatever the heck it is, it has whisky in it. Not just any old whisky but Highland whisky.
Raar, my back teeth have Scottish hairs growing on them which demand a wet tickling and no, that, my friends is not a euphemism.
Not yet at least. Give it another hour or so and it might very well be.
So, I have gobbled down some haggis and sharpened my blades for the cutting of English foes. (no offence, guys, it's tradition. I still love you)
Now it is time for the wettening!
There can be only one!!
Well, there is two but you know what I mean.
Onwards!
My belly is a snarlin wi' the meaty offcuts of animals, hearts and ears and valves and shit. That is haggis my friends and that is what it means to be Scottish. To eat the bits that others throw away.
And now... let me get that wee sleekit cowrin timrous beastie doon ma neck!
It is a good colour, a very intense brown-black. A bit like the sheets afterwards when my ex-girlfriend used to stay the night. Don't worry, she wasn't a shitter of the bed. She just loved the cheap fake tan products a little too much.
Looked as if it had been shat in right enough. Anyway, I digress.
It looks deep and thoughtful.
Let's drink it!
Oh, It's bitter! Bitter yet sweet black chocolate followed by the harsh cut of raw whisky. Is that a good thing? I say yes!
I do like it very much but the whisky is harsh seeming and there is little sweetness beyond that bitter roasted chocolate taste. I think this one will have to settle for a mere 8/10 booms.
Still, a fine score in anyone's book.
Now.
Let us see what unassuming nonsense is next...
This is a special edition of the brewery's famous Jaggery Imperial Stout. Jaggery, being that weird unprocessed brown cane sugar.
As a special edition, this promises more of all the jazzy ingredients than usual and it adds blueberry into the mix. Hmm. That normally spells trouble.
Let us see then.
Mein Gott!! It is a still and malevolent looking black. The kind of black that peoples eyes used to turn on the X-Files when the bad alien muck thing got inside them.
And that my friends was very black indeed.
No head. Nothing. Just a still black pond in my glass.
I think it is trying to intimidate me. Fortunately, I am half drunk and crazed on offal wrapped in skin and boiled.
Tallyho!
Black velvet!!! It literally is! Smooth, caramel and toasted malts with a dryness like the dust in a dark attic followed by a boozy bourbon-esque explosion.
It is rather good. I think this little inky fellow deserves a 10 booms!!!
What is the world coming to when we get a ten boomer two weeks in a row?! Madness, that's what.
I tell you what though. I am choking for a pale beer after a couple of weeks quite literally at the boozy barrel aged coal-face.
I promise lighter delights next week. But for now. I am all about that black!
Cheers!!