Hmm.
I cast my eye over the shelves in the Beer shop and came to a rather unpleasant realisation.
There were none I wanted to buy.
This was a tad awkward. I could feel the bearded pestilence of the Bear-Man behind me as his gaze drilled into my back.
No doubt he was wondering why I wasn't clutching at a gaggle of bottles and bringing them up to his counter so he could weigh them against my soul and charge me the difference.
I felt his massive frame shift behind the counter.
No doubt he was terribly ashamed that he had let me down. Rightly so.
I turned to face him.
There is nothing new?
I half asked, half stated, giving him the benefit of the doubt that his shop and shop-keeping skills had not suddenly become shite.
The Bear-Man didn't look very contrite. In fact, he seemed amused. His grin sparkled out from the gaps in his otter-like beard.
Oh aye there is.
He grunted like a pelican digging up a half-opened can of corned beef.
Really? I can't see anything I haven't tried.
The Bear-Man grinned even wider.
Late delivery. Still out the back. Need a hand getting the load in the back door.
I looked at him in some consternation. It seemed that every time I thought the Bear-Man was not planning to futter me up the back-bin, he would say something about back entrances and loads with a strange gleam in his eye.
You want a hand, is that it?
I said with one eye narrowed like a Pirate playing darts.
Aye, that'd be lovely.
He grunted again with the mad face.
What's in it for me?
I said with a cheery tilt of the head, hoping that the answer would involve free or discounted beer and not a sound beating from a rogue penis.
The Bear-Man laughed and stepped out from behind the counter.
I will give you a bloody biscuit!! HA!
A fucking biscuit? Was he mental? Did I look like a patsy? Oh well, it was nice to be nice I suppose.
I sighed and followed him out the back to help him lug a few boxes in.
Once we were done, he went to one of the boxes and opened it.
Chocolate Wafer do you?
I rolled my eyes slightly.
Yeah, go on.
The Bear-Man passed me a shiny black can of beer.
I looked down at it with genuinely surprised pleasure, it was a Chocolate Wafer beer and it looked magnificent.
You didn't really think I would give you a biscuit did ya?
The Bear-Man chortled massively.
Of course not!
I lied magnificently, tucking the bottle away in my bag.
Saturday is looking up!