Opening the suitcase wide, these three pillars are the respect to validate the history of the other, the agreements not to assume, and the trust that is only gained when words and deeds coincide in time. Without those three things, there is no team, there is no partner, and there is no possible future.
There is a huge difference between having experience and living waiting for history to repeat itself. After a certain age we accumulate memories, learnings, disappointments... and also an important amount of theories about how "life works".
The problem begins when these theories stop helping us understand the present and start deciding it for us...“I know", "I know that kind of person already", “That doesn't work for me”, and “Why am I going to try”. And so, before something has a chance to show us what it is, we've already written the ending to it... Hahaha.
There are blows in life that when they come we think we will never be able to overcome them. Living hurts us, they change our mood, even the way we imagine the future. And because it hurts so much inside, we think that they will be a part of us forever. But time doesn't just pass.It also transforms us.
What occupies our whole head today, may occupy just a corner of our memory tomorrow. What defines us today can later simply become something we lived through, and something we learned.
That doesn't mean it wasn't important. Or that it didn't hurt. It means we continue to grow around that story. And there is one of the most hopeful things in life: not everything that marks us is destined to stay in the center.
Some wounds don't disappear because we erase them, they disappear because one day we become bigger than them, and that day we can think that if we can overcome what happened.
Carmen one of my friends at work had a huge disadvantage: she forgot everything. But she also had an invaluable advantage, she could look at what was in front of her without immediately burdening him with everything that had happened before, she did not complain. It is not about erasing memory or becoming naive. It's about remembering that experience is information, not a sentence.
Sometimes, I am like Carmen, and I have had to learn to keep my fears to enjoy the present, it has been good, it has taught me to be more present in what I live. And this is what I write about is very real, because we fill our heads with things or previous experiences or with what other people tell us, and we don't give ourselves the opportunity to get to know other things, people or places!!!
Every experience is a new experience... What happened once can teach us, but none of that means that we already know exactly what is going to happen tomorrow. Living in the present is simply giving life the benefit of the doubt.
After the age of 60 and more, we often think that we have seen it all and perhaps one of the bravest things we can say is: “I don't know how this is going to end... but I'm ready to find out.”We have to keep swimming, in the murky, rough and calm waters. You have to see life every day with new looks.
Janitze 🌹
Separator made with Canva by 
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited by me with Canva
Translation with |DeepL