The year 2021 has been a rollercoaster one for me If i am given the literal autonomy to describe it. It has been a year of highs and lows, twists and turns, and, crests and troughs, but the special package that will forever live an indelible mark in my life is the lessons i learnt in 2021. I never knew the year was like a classroom of life studies staged in every epicenter of my life.
Be it work, personal life, family, friends and other spheres of my life; there was a lesson or two to be learnt. At work, the goal was to discharge my duties with all diligence, of which i have never faulted from day one i stepped my foot in that school. Although my hardwork have never been appreciated for once by the school authority, but it never deter me from giving my all towards my duties. This particular distinctive feature of mine appeared to be a major surprise to most of my colleagues, that at some point turned into a comic relief for them. With their white teeth in full glare, brimming with laughter, they would say; "it will all end in praises" i would subconsciously join them laughing myself, not knowing it was a subtle dig on my relentless effort to better myself. Not to say it out of regret or spite, it was obviously the reality on ground. I was never discouraged by their tantrums, rather i doubled down on my efforts. Not untill this past term before the Christmas break that i got a standing ovation for my commitment to my duty during the staff meeting. After that meeting,the lesson of that particular incident dawned on me heavily as i found my way home. The lesson was printed in huge colourful fonts in my mind; "never give in"
My personal life is not one to be glamourised. I have never been a peoples person or a boisterous leader of renowned social group, exuding the whole alpha male qualities idolized by many, more especially the "other gender" as they put it nowadays. I have always been the guy wearing the infamous badge of the "boy next door". Most people think i am the weirdest person they have ever seen,citing my reserved lifestyle. All i have ever wanted is just peace and quiet, and most of all to be treated fairly by others. But the reverse is the case for me. The sight of me irritates alot of people. They denigrate, underestimate and condescending look down on me alot. I don't know whether my eye condition made it so for me, because every shred of self worth and confidence i had, was killed a long time ago by the people of men. I found it hard to measure up socially during my teens and early twenties, of which i am still struggling with it up till now. But i am getting better by the day.
This year, i read a lot of works on self worth and confidence. The biggest takeaway for me is embracing yourself; spend time to improve yourself, love yourself, eschew scaring yourself- facing daunting tasks, and staying clear of anything that will tamper with your mental health. Your peace is paramount! After consuming those lessons, i started putting them to practice and it worked like magic. Putting me first was the goal from that point moving forward. Even the holy scriptures implored us to "love our neighbours as we love ourselves."
For we to have a peace loving world, the channel for love flow has to start from us loving ourselves. Sometimes, i do beat myself up for not learning this on time.
Another situation i battled with in my personal life is the area of healing from an ordeal. It is normal for things not to go your way, which can be hurtful. I almost lose myself when things don't pan out the way i planned it to be. The worst case being when i fail at something. It leads me to tears but i have been told that men are not supposed to cry, citing the misconception drummed in the ears of the male folk by the society. ,Not knowing that tears makes it easier to rid the pain. It has a soothing feeling to it after shedding the waterworks that levitates you over the hurt. These days, i don't fight it anymore, i just let it flow. The encouragement that keeps me going is "no condition is permanent" a cliched statement with powerful meaning.
A lot about the lessons of the year i learnt that i will be sharing them on this space within the week. Stay tuned.
