Five years later…
“ And you are smart enough. That's why I wanted you to finish your degree. Because I thought that if you didn't you'd always have doubts and insecurities about it.”
“ Stop it” Jane shouted and paused.
She continued, “ I just want you to know how bad I want all this gone. Like I want to go fast forward to where I'm much happier.”
Time flashes like a camera blitz in a split second. Now Jane has to work three jobs just to keep her family afloat. Rest was something luxurious as now she has more bills to pay and a family to take care of, her mother who was recently laid out from her job. Three years were probably enough time for anyone to come out of the darkness but not for Jane. There was simply no reward and all it did was only leave her with even more jadedness and a hole in her soul. Especially since Jacob left, the tiniest bit sparkle in her life was irrecoverable.
It was a beautiful twilight in the summer. Jane and Jacob were driving to their tropical themed party in Bali. The sunset was to die for and while Jane was closing her eyes to savor the moment, next thing she knew, she woke up at the hospital.
“ Jane!”
“ Please call the doctor immediately,” he asked the nurse who was checking Jane's pulse.
Jane rose up slowly and was dazed. The smell is all too familiar, she rubbed her eyes and realized she was on a hospital bed. She also heard a voice that wasn’t foreign. A man she used to know a few years ago, her very first love, Fabien.
“ Where’s Jacob?” Jane hurriedly asked for him.
“ I am so sorry Jane, Jacob passed away this morning,” Fabien replied with a grief tattooed on his face.
“ No! You’re a liar!” Jane shouted in disbelief.
“ Take me there!” She tried pulling out her IV but Fabien was strong enough to stop Jane.
While trying to keep herself composed, she was approached by the police who reported that they both got into a bad accident. Jacob could not survive during the operation and Jane was the sole survivor. Life was suddenly gone from her eyes. All the things she wished she could have, planned and the future with Jacob was gone. Life with him flashed right before her eyes. She remember when Jacob said “I’m getting rid of hours so I can look for another job and pursue what I want”
They pursued what they wanted together. They fit their life into the smallest bag they could find and went to Japan. Traveling to Japan was the first thing that Jacob wanted to do since they both were together, “ Both of us adventure in japan”. Next thing they know, they find themselves in Bali, the tropical paradise where they would tie the knot. But that afternoon changed Jane’s life.
She found herself with her ex boyfriend, Fabien, who she met a long time ago through a friend. He was there because Jane still kept him as an emergency contact in her phone. It was a long flight for Fabien but because he knew that her mom couldn’t fly long hours, he ended up flying to see her. It was worth the distance and though Fabien was now married, he still cared for Jane, the same way she cared about him in the past. It took more than a year for Jane to recover and she is now living again with her mother. She spent her days reminiscing about all the good things Jane and Jacob had. She certainly was unable to finish her degree, decided to quit everything and went into seclusion for the second time.
One night, Jane remembered a conversation they both had, Jacob was getting up to get water and she woke up from a dream. “You and I weren't together. And I met you again in the next 5 years and you were so happy and successful in that dream.” Jane told him with a worried look.
Jacob rushed to hug her, “That sounds like a really bad nightmare, love. I am so sorry”
The nightmare was even worse than she could imagine. At least in that nightmare he was alive and happy. Yet the living nightmare was even worse. She could never see him again. And each passing day, it gets even more difficult.The only thing left for her was the incessant thoughts of ending her life.
To help Jane’s recovery, her mom offered her to work as a barista at a small cafe in their hometown. As she didn’t have anything better to do and with less qualifications that she actually had, Jane decided to apply and was accepted. After all, she was a quick learner and she can get what she puts her mind into. Her new workplace was next to a small clinic that was never empty. She knows the nurses and the doctors quite well as they were the regulars at the cafe. She often overheard a conversation and one that somehow piqued her interest was the new doctor who would help Dr. Smith.
“ Did you hear about the new doctor?” said the nurse to her friend.
“ I heard he is quite clumsy and a troublemaker”
“ I don’t think Dr. Smith would like that. He could be terminated on his first day”.
“ Here’s your coffee and change” Jane interrupted the conversation and the nurses went away.
On her break, she suddenly remembered the night when She argued with Jacob. She was very insecure that she had many fleeting thoughts, that she wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough and even Jacob exes were better than her. She wondered why he would want to be with him in the first place. Jane was at her lowest when they both met. There was nothing special about her that she thought would make Jacob fall for her. That night, Jacob was the first to say, as they were arguing that Jane should really just finish the degree so that she could have something to fall back on if Jacob were gone one day.
“ I want you to be stronger and with plans to fall back on, but not because I plan on abandoning you.Are you wanting to get to a point where you wouldn't care if I were gone? Is that what your subconscious is driving you to achieve?”
“ And you are smart enough. That's why I wanted you to finish your degree. Because I thought that if you didn't you'd always have doubts and insecurities about it.”
“ Stop it” Jane shouted and paused.
She continued, “ I just want you to know how bad I want all this gone. Like I want to go fast forward to where I'm much happier.”
Jane knew that failing to finish her degree was part of the driving force that just throws her downhill. But as time went by, Jacob was much more acceptable to Jane and eventually, they decided to leave it all behind. They both pursue their true passion, photography and music for Jacob and Jane with her writing. But the wind changed her direction and now, she works three unrelated jobs that kept her from pursuing her passion once again.
To be continued….
First installment The Black Dog- Short Fiction
" It's not rocket science !" said Jacob from across the table.
" Well, I know it's not. I have been trying to finish it off for the past three months. Three fucking months." said Jane while putting her head on the table.
" Get your shit together Jane ! "
Jane sighed as she watched Jacob leave the dining table. It had been like that for several weeks. They got into a heated argument almost every night. It was either Jane left the house unkept, forgot to lock her apartment and so many things that seemed mundane yet she failed to follow through.
She didn't even realize how many weeks had been since she last saw the sun light. Every day, she would wake up, sit quietly before bed and sighed. Her dark circles grew bigger and she could see strands of hair on the floor. Even as far as eyes could see, there was only a pile of boxes from the takeaway orders.
Jacob visited every now and then. He lived next door to Jane. He felt sorry as to what happened to Jane but had she listened to him earlier, she wouldn't really be in this pit of despair. The feeling he had towards her was far more beyond anything. For him, Jane possessed a huge amount of mystery to solve. Once he finally uncovered her secrets,Jane turned out to be the most wholesome person he'd ever met. Except Jane had a lot of issues to solve. Eventually, they both created a strong support system. Jane kept Jacob sane from his tedious job at the pharmacy while Jacob kept her sane from her mind.
At first, Jacob thought she was a mercenary. But slowly he learned that she had a far greater secret to keep. In her young age, she endured so much without any support. She understood how cruel the world could be and kept wondering when she would get any chance to taste a bit of happiness.
Jane started to feel her life was in decline after she found out her father took his own life. She had no motivation to continue doing anything or to reach ambition in her life. " What's the point?"she said. Her father was very influential in her life. He was the reason Jane could do so much in life. " but why would he commit such a cowardly act". He never taught Jane to live that way. He taught her to overcome any hurdles in her life without ever quitting. Standing up from bullies and upholding something that one thought was right.
Now after she was done with her escape from reality, she had to face her own demons. She was also pressured to finish off her education that was on the brink of ending. She wished to finish everything in order to make something out of herself and made her father proud. Yet she had no energy to do it, let alone waking up in the morning.
With several weeks left, she wanted to finish it and be done with it. Jane wanted to discover what life had to offer once that challenge was over. "What would be the reward?".
Note:
I’ve been getting back into writing and this story is the continuation of a story that I wrote three years ago. I had been saving this in my documents and now I eventually posted it. I don’t know what would be the format of this but I am looking forward to continuing especially if there’s interest in this story. You have to read it in reserve but you can also read it from the newest part I wrote. Thanks to 
More disclaimer : This is a work of fiction.
Image source my own picture actually