It comes to the point where I have to minimize my internet consumption and blockchain interaction for a while. Consider this a personal update, I am yelling to the void, signal of help, I don't know but I am going to say something. I find it hard balancing between what I do here vs my school. I tend to pick something I love and pour my energy into it, and I always choose this place.
I love this place, the only space that brings me joy amidst the chaos in my life. But at the same time, I am using this to escape my reality and responsibilities. In reality, I am a student with responsibilities and the need to build my future. In reality, I have stopped working for any clients and avoid anything called "job". In reality, I just float around directionless.
My thesis has been dragging me down. It was something I was passionate about, something I thought was eye-opening. I suppose my interaction on certain places made me aware that I am on the wrong side of the coin and my thesis would possibly jeopardize my life in the future. I tend to stay away from the world of bickering read : politics but the nature of my reality is very close to it. I have contrasting views from most if not everyone in my field. I find it hard to come up into the water and label myself with something. My thesis has been a way for me to actually tell people, this is where I stand and what I believe, which later I found, I was going in a dangerous territory. I know that I only need a few words left but the mental cost of doing it has been extremely expensive.
But seven days are not a lot investment to make. The faster I could kill the monster, the faster I'd be happier, and the faster I can stop agonizing over it. So yeah, I'd be glad to interact more in the future but for now, it is all on hold. I will still be around, just not as much as I used to be. If you find my content floating around, understand that it may take a while for me to really get back into it. Have a great weekend everyone!
~ Mac
