To put it plain and simply, in my 29 years of existing, I think I finally understand. But also perhaps, I simply remembered an experience I had exactly 11 years ago and it's all déjà vu.

I was less than 20 years old when I discovered that world. I got into this because my other side of the family and the nature of their business. Even after 11 years ago, it's all still the same, they have access to world most people know nothing of in my country.

I watched the world pass me by as I traveled this evening back to' hometown' in a crowded bus filled with people who only know how to earn money to live another day. And today, I am about to tell you that there's a world beyond world most of people know nothing of. Being Awake Among Invisible Hands

The amount of money being talked about in their meeting room feel just like another stack of papers. For someone growing up knowing that $20,000 was an enormous amount of money, that indeed was a strange shift. Yet it's not the money that sets them apart but they're like the whisperers of the court. They influence how decisions are being made.

They don't look like the typical person that people think "have" money but they have the greatest privilege of wealth which is the access to rooms, relationships and opportunities most people don't even know exist. Within this room, they operate under "trusted networks" than letting a stranger get into their circle. They much prefer a second hand introduction.

The older I get, it's all the same everywhere. Your wealth decide the access you can get into.

If you don't have money, you must crawl your way to top and build credibility to access these places. Even so, they will still have a slight distrust.

In my idealistic worldview back in the day, I hated that world. I even wrote something like this ;

This is also note to myself so I won't becoming astray in the coming years.

But look at where it got me, I am back, to the same trenches I was trying to leave. Because let me be honest, when you've spent half of your 20's worrying about making ends meet, seeing how I could realize my dream faster through making money in this field is much tempting.

Long ago when I started out in this industry, it was the same. I considerably lived a comfortable life until I left that world.

By definition, these people aren't as wealthy as their bosses. They crawl their way up and eventually land themselves in places where opportunities are exchanged before they become public and problems worth millions $$ being solved. Oftentimes, many projects are already set and stone even if they are doing public procurement.

And once you've seen that world, it's hard to unsee that.

This time, I am a lot more realist than idealist. I am going to take what I can and build a proper foundation for myself. Because the reality is that, money gets me an admission ticket to rooms I wanted to be a part of.