Brain Dump | Morning Musings

Paying for your family expenses often has negative connotations in some places but in some countries, paying family expenses can be an obligatory duty that a good child should do. You can agree to disagree with me but here’s what I think.

Where I am from, there has been recent debate about this because culturally, a lot of families expect the children to pay their family bills as soon as they start working. At the same time, with the buzz around untitled millennials, and how lazy gen Z’s are, this seems to shrug off the reality of many that some of us, also help sustain our family.

Welcome to my brain dump, it’s morning and when I am able to sit down, sipping a cup of coffee while contemplating about life and emptying it out a little.

I don’t think helping your family should be seen as something negative. However I do understand where this comes from. Some people have to rent to live in the city where their jobs are located, some people have to pay bills, take care of themselves, and a lot more expenses that come in today’s world. I do recognize that some people have inheritance & that makes their life a lot easier down the line because their parents don’t have to rent, they’re already property and home owners and sometimes, in multiple places, and this changes the dynamic a lot more. When shit hits the fan, there’s always something that could be sold and bought again. There’s another outliers to this too, for example, a family with only one child where the child is the sole inheritor. This is a lot more of the outlier when compared to a family with more than one child and they have to share what they inherit.

As a single child, it makes the dynamic of taking care the family a lot easier. They don’t have to take care of another sibling and they don’t have to take care probably their older families that have less in terms of financially. Sometimes I wonder if the word “ sandwich generation” is just thrown around, losing its exact meaning. Sandwich generation “refers to middle-aged individuals who are pressured to support both aging parents and growing children”. I don’t think I fall under that because I don’t have growing children and no younger siblings that still need an education. It’s scary that I used to hear that word and suddenly associate myself as that. It made my life feel a lot more bleak and seen paying my family as some type of burden that I carried around. But once I disassociate with the word and the mindset, it was liberating once again.

Honestly, in the past when it was just me, my mom and grandma, I was actually fine with paying whatever expenses they might have since a lot of them are reasonable. Besides, my mom isn’t a lazy person. She works and sells whatever she could. She was shrewd and street mart. Only recently, when my dad became bedridden, she stopped working and only relied on me for her living expenses. Even when I am around, whatever she cooks and buy are also something I eat. So, a lot of my expenses are also molded into one and it’s interesting how I used to think it was a burden just because it would mean, I could afford backpacking long term or seeing a newer place. These days though, I realized what matters the most to me and would rather invest in my family than perhaps backpacking.

There’s that factor where I also think I am done with playing around and I’ve had a fair share of those wanderlust phases. Right now, I just want to better take care of my family as I’ve seen them die one by one.

So, I am on the side where I think as long as the expenses are reasonable, why not help our family? Another lesson is that sometimes we label ourselves without truly understanding the meaning of the word. When we label ourselves, it creates some form of identity that somehow our mindset also changes because of that. Something that makes us happy doing it becomes something that feels a burden, just like how I felt about this whole generation sandwich thing. So be careful what you’re labeling yourself with.

Now, on to another brain dump, time is really valuable but not a lot of us get it. I think that life is a series of choices where you somehow participate in determining the outcome. For example, would you rather stay home or make an effort to meet your friend? Depending on your mood and other factors, sometimes, meeting a friend can be a good thing. I recently reconnected with a lot of my highschool friends. While I enjoy it, sometimes I can’t feel at ease because I have so much to do that I know, if hanging out with them would only mean one thing, “ backlog”. I think that our life option shows the kind of choices we make with our time.

I sure have my carefree moment when I don’t care about time or anything about my choices. Now, looking back it just means I haven’t had enough self-respect to myself. So, it has been something that I am currently changing where I become a lot more intentional about what I spend my time with. Would I rather spend it working with my family? friends? Who is going to be with me? Is it the family that I like? dislike? a negative friend? Or an awesome friend? With those in mind, I become a lot more aware and conserve a lot of my energy. Even when I spend time with my friend, the awesome one can help us feel creative and even more energized rather than draining a lot of our energy because some people are just energy vampires.

It’s okay to feel stupid and feel like you have not achieved enough. I wasn’t okay with that idea in the past but nowadays, that sort of flies by me. I am okay with not understanding everything and I am willing to learn because I don’t know how things work. It's just sometimes that I don’t have enough humility, which is something I am working on at the moment, to stop being so arrogant and able to receive new information & willing to say I don’t know.

See you next morning!

	𝘔𝘢𝘤 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘫𝘢 & 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘳 . 𝘈 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘺. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨, 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴, 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘖𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴. 𝘍𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘱𝘷𝘰𝘵𝘦, 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘈 𝘳𝘦-𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰.