I had a flashback again. My sister is talking to a guy for arranged marriage and she agreed to marry him. And my father talking about planning a wedding just triggers them because for a long time the planning was for my marriage. And unlike in my sister's case I was not allowed to talk to the guy before saying yes or no. I was not allowed to say no. And there was a lot of manipulation and shaming if I did. It triggers all those memories when he talks about it. In fact I used to be the topic of their conversations so often about everything that's wrong with me that just hearing their voices triggered me at one point.
I see and hear flashes of what they used to say and memories of those arguments. I feel what I used to feel then. And my body is in the time when those things happened. That's how my body feels when I am having a flashback.
I talked to my friends about it. Posted on trauma fb groups for advice. Watched videos. Her wedding might be in 3 months and I should get used to this so I don't get triggered again because I can't miss my sister's wedding because of the flashbacks.
