Hi, everyone! How was your weekend? Rain has kept me home most of the time and though I know I will be using up extra time to make up for my absences at work, I was thankful to spend the weekend with my youngest son and dog :) But of course, no time is wasted when spent with the family.
I wanted to go to the beach for a swim despite the rain but my son opted to stay home as he was preoccupied with a certain online game he is playing alongside his friends. I marveled at how busy they are oblivious of what is going around them. When the threat of the pandemic loomed over the entire country two years ago, my kids aged 20 and 13 have to accompany their father to the city for his biweekly dialysis treatment. Since almost all regions in the Philippines were in lockdown, the only thing that connected me with my family was the frequent video calls at night.
Fast forward to 2022, and life has almost returned to normalcy. I thought all along that with the frequent salutations with my children, I never missed a moment of them growing up. Boy, I was so wrong! They have grown alright. It was as if I have been living in a trance and slept through the wonders of them developing. My, they have bloomed out of the rose! Facial features have become more defined. Conversations with them have become worldly-wise probably because I have given them a big responsibility at such young age. There is a part of me that felt thrilled with what I discovered. Nevertheless, another part of me was really scared and reflected if I have taught them well enough and prepared them for what is ahead. How I wish I could hold back time or perhaps slow it down.
I wonder if I have lived up to what is expected of me as a mother. The one they consider to be the light and the pillar of home. Yes, there are times I snap, freak out, start throwing blows and become so insensitive. I am so caught up with my own struggles that I failed to notice how overwhelming such responsibility I have endowed to them. Was there ever a time I checked on them if their hearts are still whole and spirit unbroken, I asked myself?
I realized that motherhood does not require perfection. Don’t perch yourself so high on a pedestal that you fail short of reaching out to your precious ones. We, however, should strive to be unabridged despite our travails, at whatever life throws at us so that when the time comes when our children experience the same hurdles, we could help them conquer such difficulties. We don’t need to be faultless and flawless but instead be the genuine person whom our kids would run and turn to for love and comfort.
I do not have much in life right now. Life has never been easy on me. I do not even know how I’d make it at times, but one thing is for sure. I am so proud of how my sons have become. Wiser, gentler yet fierce and filled with love and affection not to mention that they have become more good looking I see goodness in their eyes and that alone can make me effusive for being entrusted with such riches.
To the love of my life Kirk and Kurt, I will never be your perfect mother, but I will always be your heart, hearth and home. For mothers everywhere, let our fire from within drive us to greater heights for our kids.
Thank you for reading.
Until the next post,
All content is mine unless otherwise stated
@lorelei.cortes