6.24
Been awake for a few hours now... I never really understood that stuff...
...time...
So, yeah... time...
What's your deal?
Why do I have to worry about you so much?
...because time is precious...
...and it should never be wasted...
Hmmm...
Okay... then what is considered "waste" and what is considered "non-waste" of said "time"?
...that is something only you can know...
...just look within...
...and see...
...why you are here...
...and how you can help...
...and besides, you're wasting a lot of it, time, thinking about stuff that isn't useful for today's topic...
...sex...
Well, everything is relative, I guess... so, in the interest of keeping things interesting and related and stuff, today's topic will be:
...sex...
as it relates to
...time...
When I think of time and sex, I can only relate it to my own personal experiences... and since I chose to avoid most things of that nature in my youth, I find myself feeling...
confused
embarrassed
angry
excited
aroused
worried
infatuated
hurt
...but mostly, I feel this immense...
yearning
...for something, I know exists, but I have trouble recognizing...
So yeah, having spent my younger years blissfully oblivious to what was going on all around me, I find myself feeling "weird" a lot of the time these days...
...I sense myself constantly being stimulated from all directions by so many sources...
...and I don't know how to handle it...
sexy videos
sexy advertising
sexy music
sexy dancing
sexy females
sexy males
sexy old people
sexy kids
sexy animals
sexy art
sexy drugs
sexy science
sexy money
sexy sex
Damn... sex everywhere...
I always knew it was important, and sometimes I feel I need it...
Only, I don't think it's the stuff I'm blasted with everywhere; by everyone and everything... it's something different...
I love a lot of things, inluding everything on that sexy stimuli list above. Why is it that sometimes I confuse love or joy with sex? I am currently a bartender by proffession, and things can get very tricky sometimes...
Before leaving, I prepare for work...
Do I look okay? I want to look good to get good tips... But I don't want to give off the wrong impression, either... Wait, what impression am I trying to give? What about my "abilities"... Oh shit, I'm going to be late...
As I rush off to work, I see different levels of sex advertised everywhere, in ways both conscious and subconscious... I arrive at work and walk into the establishment, "El Cuchillo"...
Man, look at the hostess, she looks dooope... Shit, I hope she doesn't think I'm being creepy, admiring and shit... Oh damn, stop looking at her... Okay, find something else to look at... Ah, a screen... Shit, there's a sexy commercial on it... Damn, I hope she doesn't think I'm weird and shit, trying not to look weird while watching this weird ass sexy commercial... Wait, is she looking at me? Maybe she likes me... Well, I am pretty sexy, after all... I think? Wait, it could have something to do with my "abilities"... Wait, what?
A customer walks in and the hostess does her job, totally disregarding Knucklehead and seats them... Knucklehead proceeds to his station at the bar to set up. As he restocks and then relieves the previous shift's bartender, the first pair of customers walk up to the bar: an elderly looking man with an attractive, not so elderly looking woman...
Damn that guy's old, I wonder if that's his daughter that he's with? Sexy, little kitten... Raawwrrr... Seems strange though, for a pops to be out with a daughter at a bar... Oh shit, maybe they're together... Damn, she's got nice boobs, though... Shit! don't look at her boobs... Wait, why did you think that, now you can't stop... But then again, she is displaying them rather nicely... I wonder what the "old man" thinks about her, flaunting her goods? Wait, I wonder if he's the one flaunting her like that? Damn... He's probably got loads of money... to have a catch like that on his arm... Or be incredible at sex... Or maybe, it is his daughter... In any case, I can't be disrespectful and I must focus my attention elsewhere, not her boobs... I musn't forget my abilities, after all... Okay, lets see what's on the old boob tube, I mean television screen... Hmmm, another sexy commercial... Wow, those are some sexy athletes... Woah!!!
That's just a taste of just a few minutes of what it is to yearn for something that seems "weird"... and time continues to bring new experiences... never ceasing...
...you are meant to love...
...do not be afraid of that...
...do not be embarrassed...
...just look deep within...
...to know that it all has its place...
Wait, so I see that it all starts with me, and with my perceptions and reactions to these stimuli; but I still have to interact with the world around me. Why does there have to be so much skin and makeup and flash and flare? Men, women, children, elders; why does it all seem so perverted and depraved? There is no respect...
...be silent...
...listen to yourself...
...is the problem...
Knucklehead had always been very self-conscious about his appearance. He experienced low self-esteem growing up, and was always unhappy with the way that he existed... He made up for his social handicap using keen awareness and observation; always having a good grasp on "sensing" the general "mood" and "energy" around him, allowing him to "fake it" and "fit in" in most situations...
Being "sensitive" to all sorts of things, including things he could only describe as "vibrations", Knucklehead kept physical contact with others to a minimum...
Hahaha, you should see how he freaks when his feet come into contact with others'...
Duuude!
What? You're the one that says that they're like hands, in that they can sense when grasping something... And don't lie, you love walking barefoot; feeling the energy of the roots and the earth...
Yeah, I enjoy the occasional stroll barefoot, but you don't have to put me out there like that!! They'll think I'm some kind of psycho hippie weirdo... Besides, what does this have to do with sex or time?
Orgies? Didn't you read or hear somewhere that an orgy isn't even sexual, it's just a group of people touching their feet together? Did you bother to look that up yet?
...I told you I had; it basically talks about wild, drunken, sexual parties... also some shit about some secret rites used to worship some Greek or Roman gods... Dionysus and others, I think... no mention about anything else anywhere on the Googre...
Thanks a lot, Live... You could have at least warned me you were going to destroy every last, remotest, possibility of ever getting laid again in life for me here, tonight... Can I go throw myself off a cliff now?
Relax kid, you're okay... You're just being honest, no one should ever fault you for that... It takes courage to do that, to be truly honest with oneself... Besides, you might be onto something, being able to sense "things" in "other ways"... for now, just rest, and see what you think in the morning...
6.25
I woke up early today hoping to reason with Live, and get him to reconsider posting this post. He is still very adamant though, and so I resign myself to utter humiliation... besides, it makes for some interesting shit... in addition to an odd feeling of freedom and liberation...
Let's see where he goes with this...
I'm glad you're seeing things my way, kid... I know it can be hard, but you have to be honest with yourself first, before you can begin to correct any mistakes... otherwise, you aren't really doing shit...
...you experience love...
...for everything...
...indiscriminately...
...and that's nothing to be ashamed about...
You can love a parent: male or female...
You can love a sibling: male or female...
You can love a child: male or female...
You can love a family memebr: male or female...
You can love a friend: male or female...
You can love an animal: male or female...
You can love plants: male or female...
You can love the fire, the water, the earth, the air...
It's okay to love, and so, it's okay to touch...
Don't be afraid to touch and to hug and to frolic and play...
...to breathe the essence of life...
...just remember...
...that all is energy...
...and that that energy...
...love...
...is not the same as...
...that other energy...
...sex...
...it's still energy...
...just different levels of it...
...and then there's this "scientifical type stuff" called "biology" and "anatomy"... I don't know I believe it all, but they make some very sound arguments... about how males have this one part called a "penis" and females have this opposite part called a "vagina"... and how in the joining of the two in the act known as "sex", a new "life" can possibly be brought into existence... It's all very sound "scientifical type stuff"... But yeah, that homosexuality stuff; it all seems more like glorified group masturbation if you ask me...
...the energy expierenced with...
...sex...
...between a male and a female...
...is the highest form of energy that can be achieved...
...in this perception of existence...
...but it comes with an immense...
...responsibility...
...and holds undeniable...
...consequences...
...that cannot be ignored...
...as we put in our bid to the cycle that is...
...life...
...and since we're on the subject of masturbation...
Dude! You wouldn't dare...
What? It's all relevant, Knucklehead, if you truly want to understand...
...sex...
Besides, there's only two things left I wanted to cover in this transmission...
masturbation
...and...
circumcision
.....
Hmmm, does this transmission come with directions to the local euthanasia clinic... or perhaps directions to the local celebate monastery... which are the only places I'll end up after you post this... You should have just included a nude photo or a dick pic... I'm ruined...
Relax, kid, you'll be fine. I promise... Besides, Googre most likely already took care of putting unfavorable photos and videos of you out there on the internet... Go ahead, tell them about this morning... trust me, you'll feel great afterwards...
...I guess there's no real point in holding anything back now, so here it goes...
This morning... as well as yesterday morning... and sometimes at night, or even during the day... and pretty much every day since reaching puberty... I've gotten this overwhelming yearning and urge for something... regardless of whether I have a significant other or not...
I can tell that it is occuring because of a telltale sign that most would describe as an "erection"...
Girls get the same thing too, you know? Everyone gets horny; males call it getting an "erection" or getting "hard", females call it getting "wet" or getting "ready"... Same shit, different body...
...these things...
The husky in the picture above is named Samurai by the way, he's the real star of the show... He's such an impulsive killer, killing possums all naturally and shit; all the while remembering to smile and Live... I hope I can repay everything he has ever done for us one day... But yeah, getting horny or having an erection or getting wet; they're all natural impulses... kind of like a husky killing possums...
But Live, masturbation is weird and forbidden... Everyone looks down on it...
Look kid, you have natural impulses that you can't ignore... You just have to keep it under control; because anything done in excess can become an addiction... masturbation included...
Still, it just doesn't feel right, you know? Especially after Calypso left... Can't I just wait until I find my next girl?
If that's what you want to do kid, then be my guest. Only, I don't recommend it. I heard about this one guy who just blew up one day from all the backpressure...
Really?
Haha no, but it's a natural thing kid, don't beat yourself up if you do end up doing it. Consider the alternative: you could be satisfying your natural urges by sticking your dick in every random hole you come accross...
...time...
...is up...
Damn, we didn't even get to the circumcision part yet... We'll have to get to it another time... Mic is yours now, Knucklehead... sing your heart out...
Hmmm... well, after all of this, what can I really say? I feel free, you know? I always knew that I had love for everything, but now I feel okay with it all... I know that the sex thing is different... and its supposed to be with a woman...
And I know I have a lot of things to work on; for myself, mostly... and I have a lot to learn, but I like learning and I like to ask questions... and so I have this one question...
Where are you?
...Woman?...
Shoutouts...
Googre... thanks for giving me back music, namely the Pandora app with the reggaeton station...
Mary Jane...
Giphy.com for all the great gifs...
Public school food, blue light technology, drugs, television brainwashing, chemtrails, GMOs and vaccines, amongst other things; that totally fucked up my head to provide you with this sort of high quality insanity...
Live Transmission Out....
