In the warm season, not only nature blooms - people are also adorned with new flowers of optimism. Summer for me is endless joy and vacation, and my mood is not affected by everyday worries or work.
I'm not good in winter - it's cold, dark, there's no greenery, so I feel trapped and live only to survive. And in summer, when the sun shines, everything blooms and turns green - it's the other way around. Unfortunately, I am totally addicted to it. I don't know if I will ever be able to fall in love with the cold and winter, but I'm not even going to try.
I never celebrate my birthday. Apparently, I have some sort of complex. I don't like to get too much attention - when others make an effort for me, I feel uncomfortable, awkward. A nicer option for celebration is a cozy meeting without an occasion.
For many people, their birthday becomes a life review site where they look back on the past year and evaluate what they have achieved and how they are living now. How do I look at my present? Did I wish I could turn back time?
I really don't want to go back to my childhood or youth. I was born in the Soviet years, when people lived in darkness and oppression and did not know how to be free in their spirit. But I'm not complaining - I grew up in a loving family.
Still, people like to hold on to the self-consoling phrase that their lives turned out favorably if they did not become criminals, achieved something, but I think - what would have happened to us if we studied at a school where people are respected and educated with new values, if we were not oppressed, disrupted, complex? If we had lived in an environment where attention was paid, conditions were created to develop and nurture natural talents, who knows what kind of personalities we would have? I am very happy that all this has changed, that attention to a person's personality has changed, but I would not want to go back to my youth.
We should be very happy that everything is changing and our children can grow up in a different environment, with respect. Now they are considered people, personalities and have all the opportunities to develop their talents. It's a pity for the generation of our grandparents, who never saw a free country, did not know what it means to be a free citizen, to have rights and opportunities. We should be thankful that we live in a free country.
I hope I don't start regretting something that cannot be reversed - that would be destructive behavior. However, I remember that when I turned 40, I was overcome with a great existential sadness, how much life had already passed. Well, everyone told me that everything was just beginning and it would only get better. And indeed! There is a double path to the good: you improve yourself, and at the same time, your environment grows.
We humans see ourselves wrongly in time. No one counts time like people. Well, who in nature divides, arranges, marks the year? The commitment of people to the number is maddening. We should try to be guided by and judge others not by years, but by activity, manner, intentions and views. Finally - health and energy. After all, a 30-year-old who is dissatisfied with everything looks and is older than a joyful, optimistic person even 50 or more years older.
I may have been born to see more beauty and ease in life, but I also consciously always try to keep my head above water. Anyway, I consider myself quite strict - it doesn't take much effort to succumb to melancholy, sadness. I force my anxiety attacks out of me - literally. It's a sport. If we could all get over our complexes, how much fun we would find in life!
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Thank you for reading. You are always welcome to check my posts.
All photos are original taken by me.
