The Defeaning Silence

I'd be Hive rich, kicking back and writing and making art if I hadn't been hacked (again) in Kleinmond in early 2023. Hive was hacked at the same time, by the way.

How many of us were disconnected, discombobulated, turned on each other and buried in search results will (probably) forever remain a mystery. But that is when my blog was taking off (big time) and some folks in my home town got nervous about some shit that went wrong some years ago.

Eight years and the same thing (to a tee, no less - how embarrassing for my country) is happening again.

The EXACT same lies to government officials, and the same situation playing out, by a someone who adores acrimony and court. And who, after lying openly for eight years, now has a lot to lose.

There he is, ready court again. Prepared documents neatly under his arm. A court that I am no longer interested in approaching. Even to defend myself.

Everybody, in my country, already knows the Truth now and it has only made things worse for me.

How long does a country need to investigate what went horribly wrong?

It has been six long years since my government knew that they fucked up. Eight long years since he lied.

I guess I'll wait another four.

A number that keeps coming up.

Four more years until I can see my son again.

It's starting to look, very much, as though it has become Political.

Despicable.

They can get on with it on their own.

I am unable to work or earn online since the hack in Kleinmond. An obvious hack that derailed my (and some other good humans here on Hive's) momentum.

The situation only worsened after I reached out (to both leading political parties in South Africa) for help again in early 2024. This time publicly. And after I began to run a protest on social media in December 2023.

Could it be that long ago?

I was locked down, in full, in MULTIPLE hacks. A second one in 2023, one (or two) in early 2024. And a final hack, on 3 June 2024, that has held me in some kind of National (according to a friend who was a hacker) security quarantine.

No questions asked and no investigation (six police stations approached) done for two years now on who it could be.

It's an interesting and terrifying story as it is so blatantly a breech of EVERY human right, in plain sight, that a person can only sit in some stunned silence - wide-eyed - that this IS actually how things work out here.

I guess I was still naïve.

I am not anymore.

I said I was fucked back in 2022.

I don't expect anyone is going to fix this - eight years later.

Obviously this is just another cover up.

Politics.

Ugh

Nobody has bothered to investigate the MULTIPLE hacks for two years now, emails and private messages are still being deleted (obviously and confirmed by parties when I checked feeds in person) and (probably) work and rental proposals with them (since I have sent out, literally, thousands over the years). I have also now lost custody of my son and have been rendered homeless.

Now relying (after being a successful Sole Proprietor for decades) on the good charity of a family member. Hidden out of the town that let me and my son down. Untreated pre-cancer after I was admitted into a hospital that then refused to let me go to get the treatment. Waiting to die?

I guess that is their hope.

My son is devastated.

And so am I.

More that we lost so much around here, on Hive, because of corruption and bullshit.

It was not our fault, Dear Hivians.

I hope those of you who knew me back then realise this now.

How I can share so honestly, when it seems pretty obvious that a "suicide"; "accident" or "natural death" was to be my country's resolution of this matter, is due entirely to the fact that I have (literally) nothing left to lose.

It's a waiting game now, apparently.

We are all snookered because, once again, I told the truth; saved the evidence and both the police and the government know that there were hacks (confirmed with a government official that she has not been receiving my emails - in person) and two more criminal cases against the guilty party are currently supposed to be being investigated.

An investigation now, since I have come to understand more about how the government actually works in South Africa, I have little interest in pursuing.

Shuffled off quietly to die.

Or until someone can use this for their own political gain.

I have now had to power down this new account as I am unable to even buy cigarettes or coffee now. I also want to pay for my son's Premium Spotify account because he has been depressed and has told me he is suicidal.

And music helps him keep on keeping on too.

I also have two small bags in storage left.

My own and the children's books.

Their art.

Small items that are all that remain of a life once lived before the false accusation against the man I was to marry and make a new life with.

This is the truth and nothing but the truth.

I write with some small hope, by some small miracle, that someone in my government will use this truth wisely. To show that the new South African government IS trustworthy and accountable.

And that they protect our children first.

I love some of you here.

I know it sounds unlikely but you held me through the most challenging years of a life destroyed. You kept me going when nobody that I knew in person would listen.

You gave me hope that I could survive this.

I will be back, when I can, to (hopefully) make art and write about more inspiring things again.

My truth is still too gritty for social media and I am unable to lie and pretend this was a good day or that was a peaceful walk.

I have had no peace, 24/7 now, for two years. Never mind the six prior years of brutality. At least I was allowed to write back then.

But I am getting used to it.

Back to applying for work for now.

Let's hope "they" allow the emails to go through.

Hopefully one day I'll be back here and able to write and make art fulltime again. Until then, I will check in, say hello and share what love I can with fellow users.

Hopefully one day I'll be back here and able to write and make art fulltime again. Until then, I will check in, say hello and share what love I can with fellow users.

<3

Nicky

"Keep on keepin' on" ^💜