~ Marriage a choice or mandatory? ~

Greetings pupil.

In my previous post I have worked on family planning and I did not want to bring up marriage as it would digress the main focus. Marriage itself is an entirely different topic. They are integrated together but still the stitches are of different lengths.

I am not married so many of my points will vary from those who are but I still feel that a few of my points are worth the ear. As a result, here I am trying to share my thoughts.

What does it mean to be married? Do you have a change in your lifestyle? Are you going though a biological change or only chemical? Is your physical and mental health, both are taking a toll in this process? Yes, all of these are happening and many more points are there which I haven't mentioned here. When so many things are happening due to one choice, due to one single decision, it is not a very important decision of our life? It is.

From my up bringing I would say, marriage is for those who believes in fairytales. That is what I came up recently. However, after further ado, I realized it is romance that falls under the category of fairytale. We get entertained and stay happy when we see fairytales, do we not? It is what makes us go dreamy and some of us tend to forget that fairytales are not reality.

Marriage is real. Fairytale is not real. It is a total different topic, if you are able to make your life happy and dreamy after marriage, it is your personal success and glory. Nothing to do with the average people who will not exactly describe marriage as dreamy.

It is very crucial to know what are your choices and boundaries when you are lifting that bloom of flower to get married. For me some of the major factors are me and myself.

• How much am I stable in my live?
• Do I know how to control my emotions?
• What are my emotional strengths and weaknesses?
• Do I know what it takes to make me happy?
• Whom will I get married to?
• Are we financially sound?
• How is he like? His characteristics and tastes?
• What is he looking for in his partner?
• How does he perceive the world?
• What are his likes and dislikes? Does it match with mine?
• Does my ethics, moral values and principals match with his?
• How does his thinking process work?
• How is his family?
• What kind of career path did he choose?
• Will I be able to adjust with him?
• Will he be able to adjust with me?

There are so many more questions that need to be answer by myself, before I step into such a commitment. Will I be able to stay committed? Is he the committed type? Sometimes directly asking them questions wouldn't take me anywhere. Instead guessing from his answers on other topics reveal a lot about his choices in life.

We all have made friends and have chosen to stay away from a few. So, it is alike that but more important. Our 100% attention is obviously a mandatory. If we are too busy with growing ourselves, we shouldn't get involved in something that we cannot control. All the things that I was talking about till now is just the primary part. Now begins the later.

So, getting married gets you involved with a new family, new environment. Sometimes it can mean shifting to a new area, new people, new culture. Sometimes it might involve you with new cultural, religion and moral values. Get married will get you involved with new relationships, those which you will have to learn to maintain. You cannot just break them as you wish. Each step that you take is heavy on you, because none of it is going to go easy on you.

Later, your bonding with your husband and the balance of your life with his. Along with both your financial load, everything matters. Marriage may be mandatory in some religion but as far as I have done my tiny research, it is not mandatory. Also, I will not go into the religious factors because religion never states to go and harm ourselves. It always states to protect ourselves, but how much of that do we follow?

Deciding to marry is a very crucial decision and should not be made when in haste. Think wisely and step in it only if you really want to. That's all with what I am drawing my conclusion. Thank you for your time and patience to read till the end.

All of which I have said so far is from that of a females point of view who is yet not married. From a person who is married she might have a different view and also if I would have been a man then my point would have varied too I guess. It is because the responsibility of a man and woman is not the same. I hope you will make wise choices in your life.