Coming out of religion has been tragic, and not for the faint of heart.
Purity culture
wrapped its tentacles around me,
placed them up inside of me;
tied a noose around my neck
— and hung me.
This feline arose
out of the ashes
as the myth
of the pheonix
once described.
This new being didn’t need a mandated check-list of “who-to-be” by a group of men.
This new being didn’t need to listen to that scripture that recounted the perfect woman.
I was free.
I used to be extremely scared of sex and all the came with it. I didn’t listen to music and I didn’t care too much about what I wore. I was a fundamentalists that only owned skirts for a period of time. I used to worry a lot about the future of impending doom of the apocalypse that they assured me “would be in my lifetime.” I was the virgin bridegroom waiting for Jesus.
I understand the Bible much differently now; and I share it occasionally in posts that I write here and there.
I share a lot with you all.
I appreciate the time taken to read my poetry and rambles. Each moment is valuable. It’s sometimes amazing to me that people are interested in this — and again, taboo allures as much as they repel.
(And apparently I just had no more fucks to give; and I just opened myself up to the world.)
To be a writer is to walk naked in the figurative streets of the mind.
It’s neither right nor wrong.
It’s neither good nor bad.
It’s simply what I wish to do.
I do what I want.
I now have
arbitrary lines
Drawn in sand.
I make up my own rules
To my own game
And I am now
The main character
Of my fucking life.
And in the rule book
That I call “how I live my life”
Has a bullet point that says:
Sex is as sinful as sneezing.
Nothing inherently moral
About a bodily function.
I think that’s really been the biggest shift in my life — turning around and professing my interest in all the things one dares not say on the internet.
The culture of secrecy is over.
It’s the age of transparency.
I don’t know how many of you out there resonate with what I am saying. I don’t know how many of you hear the harmonies I am attempting to sing directly from my harp of my heart — and if you do... thank you.
I guess all I ever wanted;
Was to be heard,
Even by a select few.
This was the baby Bible I got at my baptism. And I am reading through it now as an atheist. I am doing it just for myself — so perhaps if I am ever asked the question, “but did you ever read the whole Bible?”
I can say, “yes” and be telling the truth.
I am also doing it also to begin to cross off section that I straight up do not believe in. I am editing this thing down to aspect that I would like to incorporate in my life — and the shit I am throwing away.