Every human has their good and bad side, but not everyone would admit it because the majority of us love to appear perfect. The bitter truth is that nobody was created perfect, and it is why the world isn't a perfect place.
I always paid attention to my father's teaching about every human possessing a personality they want to change, which can be good or bad. When I was very young, I didn't understand why a person with good personalities would want to change it—I know a bad personality might want to change, but what's with a good personality changing to what? Bad?
I always asked questions, but those illustration he explained with usually didn't make much meaning to me until I became an adult and realized that being good can even attract problems in our lives.
My image
Most of our habits are natural things we didn't choose for ourselves; we just grow and realize that we possess them. They can be good or bad, and it's up to us to make the necessary amendment if any of our personality isn't adding value to us.
For a lot of people, their personalities were passed down to them. They inherited it from their immediate parents or ancestors and that's my case.
I can point out about three of my aunts with the same selfless attitude I am struggling with, and according to the stories I heard plus things I have seen, Grandma was just like that. She is very open to everyone, accommodating, she doesn't discriminate, and she would go out of her comfort zone to help someone in need.
These things were part of me, and I love being kind. I love to be there for people; I always want to help, but it doesn't always work for me. I know I am not the only one who has bad experiences with helping, but mine is too much.
Several times, I have been cheated and taken advantage of by people I least expected would do such to me. My most recent was about someone I usually take with me to work whenever I get small jobs.
She is the daughter of one street aunty like that, and when she asked to always assist for cash, I didn't mind. It wasn't like I was making much money, but I thought helping her in a little way might have a good impact on her.
I treated her like a friend and sister; we vibe a lot, but recently, one of my clients accused me of using the girl to get to her husband. The accusation sounded horrible to my ears, and I had to clear my name from the mess.
I sorted myself, but the woman insisted that there was something fishy happening between the lady and her husband. I asked this girl, but she denied it, and since there was no proof, I just kept watching.
One evening, the woman sent the messages and voice notes shared between the lady and her husband. After reading and listening, I felt embarrassed because I don't know what she wants with a man older than her father.
I was really disappointed, and if not for the girl coming into their home through me, I wouldn't be bothered. The woman stopped calling me for her job, and I lost massively on that. I couldn't fight anyone and just let Almighty Allah fight on my behalf.
My act of selflessness is something I would love to change, but like my grandmother always said, when you close your eyes for the evil people to pass you by, you won't know when the good ones will pass.
It's hard, and rather than changing that personality, I will prefer to be more careful with the people I allow into my life and space.
