The topic of forgiveness is one that is often discussed verbally but is very hard to genuinely practice from the depths of the heart. No lies, we have truly seen genuine forgiveness come into play, but it happens on rare occasions and often depends on the nature of the offence committed. Most times, we usually go along with the "forgive and forget" pattern, but if we critically examine it, doing away with (forgetting) the person who offended you after you've forgiven them is not actually forgiveness. Real forgiveness comes when the person who offended us is still around, yet our minds genuinely hold no grudges against them.
I won't lie, I have people on my list whom it may seem as though I've forgiven and forgotten, but whenever I see them or think about them, I just laugh it off so as not to allow the pain of what they did to me to resurface. This is to say that I've forgiven them and also forgotten them because they are no longer around, but anytime they appear, traces of unforgiveness come back and linger.
There's one family, whom I attend the same church with, that deliberately withheld my money and refused to pay me after I rendered a service to them. At the end of the service, the wife intentionally brought up an issue that had never been mentioned from the beginning and decided to use it as a means to withhold the money. Unfortunately, the husband, who was supposed to make the payment, agreed with her and refused to pay.
I won't lie, I rained all manner of insults on them because I was deeply hurt that they intentionally decided not to pay me, not because I was wrong or had done something wrong.
Let me make it clear:
I rendered a laundry service to the family and after I gave the total bill to the husband, the wife said I should have added extra money, a portion of which I was supposed to give her since she believed she deserved a share. I explained this to the husband, and the husband bought into her idea. Can you imagine that?!
I know you want to ask if that was how we had been doing it before. No, that wasn't the arrangement. She just decided to play smart by deducting a portion of the money.
I have let go of the money, but anytime I see either of them, the anger and hatred come back. Although the anger is not about getting back the money, it is about how a grown man and woman with children decided to allow wickedness to fill their hearts, yet they still go to church and act like saints. It's so annoying to me. That's the part that irritates me the most and not actually the money that I lost.
This forgiveness is yet to find its way in my heart. I know God understands too. Lol😅
Thanks for reading.
Photo: Chatgpt
