Gifting my children to reward them for good behavior or excellent performance is one practice I'm going to borrow from this modern-day parenting style, even though my siblings and I weren't raised that way. On the other hand, the act of punishing children whenever they go wrong, even to the point of being physical with them, is one practice I'm still going to carry on from the way we were raised, even though this current era is largely against it.
I feel that applying both methods will help create a balanced system for raising my children instead of relying on just one parenting pattern especially this trends of using gifts only and discarding the idea of punishment.
Back in the day, my parents, especially my dad, were the type who beat the hell out of us. Yet, before the end of the day, he would always find a way to get back into our good books, trying to get us out of our angry mood. He didn't come with gifts; he did that with kind words and, sometimes, by leaving a portion of the meat from his meal for us. Is that a gift? Not at all, I don't concur.
I have a lot of children that live close to me and they come around to my workplace very often. Many times they've shared the moments their parents gifted because they did excellently in their academics. The joy on their faces while sharing those moments and proudly showing me the gifts, especially when they were clothes they were wearing at that moment, was always heartwarming
This made me promise two of the children a Bible storybook each. Unfortunately for me, I haven't fulfilled that promise till today because, when I checked the prices in the market, each book was far beyond my financial capacity at that time, and I was supposed to buy two of them. Luckily for me, they moved away from the street toward the end of last year, so I haven't been in contact with them since then. But I'm very certain I'll fulfill that promise one day because I'm also certain they've continued to keep up with their education.
Even as adults, there's a certain kind of motivation that comes our way when we're rewarded or tipped for a job well done. It makes people want to do even more, even though the reward itself is the driving force. This works even better in the lives of children, whose understanding of life's bigger challenges is still limited compared to that of adults.
As for punishment, I also believe it's good to balance the parenting pattern with appropriate discipline whenever children do something wrong. It keeps the system balanced, ensuring that when they do well, they receive rewards, and when they do wrong, they receive punishment. Funnily enough, this pattern of life and existence is also reflected in Christian doctrine, where those who do evil are destined for hell, while those who do good are rewarded with heaven.
Thanks for reading.
Photo: Chatgpt
