No man is an island; it is only the dead that do not interact. Human beings are relational in nature, and this means that we interact with each other on a daily basis. These interactions are necessary for our existence.
Our interactions are either formal or informal; whatever it is, they play an important role in our lives. The outcome of these interactions is positive or negative in nature. Well, I can say that it is two sides of the same coin; it's either head or tail. This has to do with how an individual handles these interactions.
Here I will be talking about comparing ourselves to others, which is a result of our daily interactions, and we all know that comparing oneself to another person can either have a positive or negative outcome. And I am going to be looking at this topic from two standpoints.
I remember I had a classmate in the university who was very intelligent, and I would compare my grades with his. And I would discover that his grades were excellent. On this fateful day I sat, and I was determined to also make good grades. I compared myself with him, and I saw the difference. This motivated me to sit up and take my studies more seriously. I thought to myself, If he can have good grades, I can also have good grades. He became my motivation. After that semester's exam, I saw my grades, and they were good. The next semester was even better. Here, comparing myself with my classmate brought about a positive change for me.
Comparing ourselves to others can be a source of inspiration and motivation for us. Looking at people who have succeeded in a particular area and wanting to create impact too isn't bad. For me, comparing myself with another person helps to motivate me to become better.
Comparison as negative effects, and I will be looking at a few of them here.
Comparison can cause low self-esteem; if we compare ourselves with others, we might end up not having confidence in our abilities, which is a bad thing to experience. I remember a friend telling me a story of how he went for a job interview. As he got to the venue for the interview, he saw others who came for the interview dressed in their expensive shoes and suits. He looked at himself and felt he wasn't qualified for the job. He said to me, "I failed the interview the moment I compared myself to the other candidates; at that moment I lost confidence in myself." He said he entered the interview hall; the questions he was asked were simple, but psychologically he had failed, so he ended up not being able to answer any of the questions.
Comparison leads to greed. I might look at someone who I feel is doing better than me, and this will make me not be content with what I have. Contentment is a value that is very important in our world today. It helps to curtail a lot of vice. One who compares himself to others might become greedy and engage in criminal activities just to meet up with a perceived standard. In the 21st century, social media has become a medium for people to compare themselves. We see a lot of people posting things on their timeline, and if you do a little investigation about it, you discover that it's all fake. One might feel this other person is making it, and this influences our actions.
Comparison leads to living a pretentious life. We know that these days most people pretend to be who they are, not just to meet up with a perceived standard. An elderly man told me and my friends how he missed an opportunity to be employed in a big multinational company because of his pretentious life. He said he had an alumni meeting in his school. He had just obtained his Bsc. He borrowed a car from his friend, and we went for the meeting, and everyone congratulated him. He informed them that he was working for an oil exploration company. His friends were wowed by this. Everyone believed he was doing great. Years later, he was still looking for a job. His mates were helping each other get jobs, but no one gave him any information because they believed he was employed. He told me how he wasted years looking for a job when he would have easily gotten one through his former classmates.
Comparison is delicate, and I feel one must be psychologically ready if you want to compare yourself to others. It can make or mar you. The worst form of comparison is the one done by parents. It can make a child depressed, and this would make a child to be withdrawn and even believe he or she is of no good. Parents need to understand that children are unique and they all have their area of strength.
Comparison for me is a two-edged sword. It needs to be handled with care.