There have been many times I have wished for her and this mess to be gone, a trine, three’s a crowd, one too many swords through a bleeding heart, but here we are three times three, times three thirty-day cycles later and still she is a thorn in my side, his side, a dance partner between us, or with us, her position, or mine, or his, I am unclear in this trefoil-charmed learning curve?
I do record, study and heed the messages of dreams and these codes arise not only from the dark of night, but the bright of day as sidewalk-tarot does. What can be made of the stones, runes of invite and magic of thought and bending of boundaries?
I hear a dream expert state that magic is alive as ever it was and that we must be careful, anything that involves the desire to change another in order that our situation become more palatable to self is a form of black magic. Any prayer we utter, even with what we believe to be good intentions, on behalf of another, without first asking, is also a form of black magic.
I have kept up on our frolic via internet blogs and video postings and her anger rings of an injustice she continues to suffer and this pain is wrapped in snarls around my own psyche, like a rat’s nest at the back of a child’s uncombed head. And, so, yesterday I thought throughout the day, when her presence yet again arose, to reach out kindly and nicely brush her hair. Show that I didn’t know how to solve it, but that I wouldn’t be a part of psychic hate.
Later that day she wrote a post in which she mentioned me (we’ve never met) stating she knew I was into dream analysis and what did I make of her continued dreams of my boyfriend whom she considers her tormentor and though I’ve wished her gone, willed myself to not look, broken up with him, there still seems a very direct link of unspoken communications between us three?
Be gone, be mine, be three, be we, if three is indeed a magic number, the secret math backing all of nature, the trinity and maybe some kind of chaotic trinitarium of helicoptered growth, why can’t I find comfort and rest there?
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