tips to make marriage last

I discovered something yesterday. Well, really I rediscovered it.
Our members give fantastic marriage advice!
Yesterday, in our Facebook community , I posed two simple questions:
Have you been married more than 10 years? If so, will you share
something here to encourage those newer to marriage?
Within hours, more than 600 people responded . Women seasoned in
marriage shared their perspectives, tips, advice and encouraged those
in their first 10 years of marriage.
Those in the early years of their union reciprocated overwhelmingly
with gratitude to the women who had just fanned their flames of
hope.
It was a beautiful exchange to be sure.
While reading through them, I found myself pumping my fist in the
air like I was at a ball game yelling, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
I knew almost immediately, those encouragements needed to also be
shared here, with you.
And although the below advice isn’t any better than the hundreds
of others on our community page (I certainly wouldn’t attempt to
rank them), I could only post a few here so I hope you’ll click the
link at the bottom to see the rest.
Without further ado, here are 50 proven tips for making your
marriage last :

1. Celebrated 26 years this past May. Married my high school
   sweetheart. The lessons are in the journey. Grace, forgiveness,
   tenacity, love, faith, honesty, compassion and the flat refusal
   to ever give up on each other or your marriage. My husband
   brings me a bouquet of flowers on the first of each month, to
   start our month right (his words). It is a simple gesture that I
   look forward to as do our daughters. Love is in the simple,
   small gestures each day. Grateful to be here in this part of our
   trek, as it gets better with the passing of the years; if you
   have cultivated and communicated….it grows to be stronger than
   steel and your respite from all else. -Julie Hernandez
2. I have been married 36 years, got married real young and still
   happy and in love. My advice is DON’T give up , work on your
   problems and talk to each other. -Sandra Baillargeon-Sheridan
3. Married 44 years. We married when we were 18 years old as my
   husband returned as a soldier from a tour of duty in the Vietnam
   war. The best way to have a good marriage is to Learn how to
   “JUST BE” together without the “expectation” that your
   partner is to entertain you when you are bored. Spouses who have
   a good sense of themselves and know how to be content by
   themselves and keep themselves busy are the happiest. They have
   the healthiest marriages BECAUSE they are not clingy, needy, so
   high maintenance..that they expect their partners to “MAKE” them
   happy..ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY!!! -Judith Redman Kirk
4. I’ve been married for 25 years… I’ve learned to pick my battles
   and never go to bed angry, stay up till 4am if necessary talking
   things through….. Or just forgive and forget! Marriage is a
   commitment to that person that has been and will be the
   witness of your life! Cherish it because you never know how
   long you’ll have each other!! -LD Rocio Wagner
5. Married 21 years! My motto for our marriage is we are not perfect
   just perfect for each other. Be best friends. Never say the word
   divorce. Wake up everyday looking for something to thank him
   for. Tell him every chance you get how sexy you think he is.
   Never leave each other without saying I love you. Talk to each
   other don’t yell. Remember when the world is against you, he
   is for you. And enjoy the ride! -Michelle Hicks Kerwood
6. I got married at 18. They all said it wouldn’t last. In October, it
   will be 36 years!! My advice: Always go the extra mile, give
   more than you receive . -Susie Ruhl
7. We’ve been married 35 yrs. Always let each other know how
   important you are to each other. We never part without a kiss
   and we value all of our time together . Let him know that he is
   your best friend and talk, talk and talk….men are not psychic.
   Is it easy? Not always. Is it worth it? You betcha! -Dovie Punneo
8. Don’t give up when you hit a bump. Work it through. Too many
   people throw away a perfectly good relationship because, in a
   moment of anger or even boredom, they think they don’t love
   each other any more. It’s seldom that bad! Keep going. (21 years
   and just getting started) -Jacquie Bate
9. Any marriage is one toxic friendship away from falling apart.
   Closely guard who you allow into your lives. -Anna Smith
   Bankston
10. My husband and I have been married 37 years, He is my best
    friend. We have one thing in common “divorce is not an option .”
    Life is what you make it. -Debra Finlay Smith
11. Embrace the downs . That sounds negative but it isn’t. Although
    there will be plenty of ups there will be plenty of downs.
    Hold hands and be determined to walk through them together,
    never losing sight that you are each other’s. It’s easier to stand
    the buffeting winds with each other. The other side of the down
    times are much sweeter because of that. I’m saying that just shy
    of 27 years. -La Turgeon
12. Married 26 years… never be too proud to admit when you’re
    wrong! We NEVER go to bed angry. -Shelly Golden
13. Twenty-one happy years of marriage has taught me that you
    should never sweat the little stuff . Let it go. Pick your battles
    so carefully that you almost never fight. Be happy every single
    day…you have found the love of your life! -Cheryl Hurley Kizner
14. Never try to change each other . Been married 23 years after a 3
    month whirlwind courtship. He was 18 and I was 24. If you think
    you stay the same, think again. Accept each other and embrace
    the differences. Realize you will have problems but don’t be a
    part of this throwaway society. And yes, the honeymoon phase
    does end but the love changes into something more intense. Love
    is grand. -Melissa Adele Haggai
15. Hubs and I have been together for nearly 21 years and married for
    15 of them. First secret is to think carefully about your value
    to your spouse; always assume that his intention is for
    whatever is in your best interest even if the intent somehow
    gets lost in the translation of his actions. 9 times out of 10,
    there is a misunderstanding that needs to be clarified rather than
    to assume that he’s too lazy, attempting to manipulate you,
    etc. Try first to understand his logic behind the choices he
    makes before going on the defensive. -Mindy Chemacki
16. Married 42 years today for us. One thing I finally learned and
    still working on is that I can’t change my hubby to my way of
    thinking. Nor should I expect him to think like me . I married him
    because he was totally opposite. Pray for your hubby and God
    will do what needs to be one either in him or you. Still the
    love of my life after all these years! -Linda Orosco
17. Married 16 years. Together almost 28 years. Remind yourself
    when you’re angry with your spouse, “My life will always be
    better with you than without you.” -Aimee Foster
18. I have been married 32 years. My advice is to always respect each
    other, even when you don’t agree -and believe me there will be
    plenty of times when you don’t!- accept each others
    differences, your strengths and weaknesses . Be supportive,
    Never Tear Each Other Down! The biggest thing is DON”T give up.
    There can be weeks, months and sometimes even years that aren’t
    the way you thought they would be. In the end, its about
    creating a place where each of you can be yourself, have the
    freedom to explore new things, and know that you are always
    safe and loved. Marriage is the most beautiful thing in the
    world, the greatest relationship anyone can ever hope to be
    blessed with! -Brenda Stantz
19. Was married 36 1/2 years…Make life about your mate..Laugh at
    your own mistakes…ask for forgiveness when need..never scream at
    each other..pray together daily an enjoy time with out being in
    each others pockets.. No name calling other than complimented
    on beauty ..always always give thanks for even the smallest
    they do for you..Saying I love you when you think it ….Life can
    snatch your love one away….but hold what you had in speaking
    your memories. -Shelly Homan Billington
20. I have been married for 23 years met my husband when I was 15.
    We’ve been together for 26 years. Best advice I can give anyone
    is pick your battles. Some fights aren’t even worth the
    discussion. P.S. And we never let anything get in our way..
    (Money, family) we plan together.. And dream together! -Cara
    Williams Garcia
21. Marriage is not a 50%-50% give and take. It is 100%-100% …
    there are always days and times that each have nothing to
    give..the other one must then give 100% to make up the
    difference. Married 42 years and still in love. -Kathleen Somers
22. Married for 21 years been together for 27 years.. 6 great kids! I
    think what makes our marriage successful is that we are
    absolutely the best of friends.. We want to be around each other
    all the time.. We want to tell each other everything! We laugh
    together and hold each other up during the not so nice times.
    We respect each other and have understanding for each other. We
    hardly fight and when we do we are not afraid to say sorry . We
    try and do little things to show we still love each other. -
    Catharine Schneider-Parsons
23. On September 9th, we will celebrate 41 wonderful years. My
    advice, laugh together, play together and always, always talk
    things out! -Nikki Ada Slodysko
24. Married 36 years. We got married when I was 16 and he was 18. We
    have had great times, good times and bad times. Through it all,
    we have been there for each other. Tell each other daily that
    you love each other. Hold hands, listen to the other
    person….pray for your spouse daily. And most of all do date
    night each week. Doing things together when life is so busy
    help build a strong bond. Lastly, remember in sickness and
    health, let your love for each other shine through. God has
    blessed this union he will keep it strong. -Myrna Hernandez
25. A wife who sees her husband as one of the children has lost her
    perspective. Always try to see the man in your man if you
    want him to be your man . -Vickie Anders
26. Rolling down on 20 years. Accept that each of you are not
    perfect. Have an “our” thing…ours is going for long drives with
    no destination. -Denise Cox Lehosky
27. Married 17 years as of 8/24/2013. The most important thing is
    communication. We talk to each other about everything good or
    bad there are no secrets between us . If you can talk to each
    other about everything, then loving, respecting and caring for
    each other comes real easy. -Norma Proctor
28. Married 44 years last August 9th. Understand that there will be
    times when you may not like your husband but love him
    always. -Margarita Cordero
29. Been married 41 years. Still my best friend and soul mate. Never
    go to bed angry. Always treat your spouse as you want to be
    treated. Remember the grass is rarely greener on the other side
    of the fence. It it always easier to give up and leave. NOT!!! -
    Debi Newby
30. It’s 20 years for us! Don’t walk away, don’t give up, keep going,
    walking away isn’t an option! Don’t hold grudges, don’t be
    bitter. Talk things through, be open to change, be best friends,
    support each other, work together. Make time as a couple, date
    nights, weekend getaways…time alone is crucial. -Melody Malone
    James
31. Married 29 years and the answer for us is God, good
    communication (we talk about everything), and taking the word
    divorce completely off the table. Don’t give up when it gets
    tough, give grace and be quick to forgive . Always make the
    other a priority, don’t become complacent and take the other for
    granted. Keep the romance alive! -Cynthia Henderson
32. Been married for 22 years. No matter how angry you are don’t
    call your spouse bad names. They can break the good
    relationship you have. -Ruth Kinyanjui
33. Married 22 years…. Always ask yourself how any action you take
    will affect your spouse ….making sure that your spouse has
    committed to doing the same. Never assume that you know why
    the other just said something that hurt or angered you….make
    sure you ask directly what they meant by the words before you
    respond in anger or tears. You have to set your standards just
    as the spouse does on how you ARE to be treated…the rest is
    compromise and cuddling. -Rhonda Marshall Hudson
34. As a wife of nearly 23 years, I can honestly say that our
    marriage grows stronger, richer, and more satisfying each year
    because we constantly continue to work on it. We take time each
    day to talk. We date and romance one another. We are each
    other’s best friend. We keep God at the center of our marriage.
    We treat each other with kindness and respect. Happily Ever
    After does exist , you just have to work alongside your Prince
    Charming to make it happen. Good luck. It is well worth the
    effort-always. One last thing-love is an action, not just a
    feeling. Continue to love, even if you don’t feel “in love”. Those
    feelings will return if you just keep loving anyway! -Stephanie
    Scevers
35. Be Best Friends. Have mutual respect and any Good Marriage
    takes two good Forgivers. Married 21 years and I Love Him more
    every day. -Mona Whorton
36. I have been married for nearly 40 years. We will renew our
    wedding vows next March which I can’t wait for. We have been
    together for 45 years; dating for 5 years before we got married.
    Our marriage vows are sacred to us only death will part us! -
    Bonnie Elske
37. I’ve been married 23 years and feel it’s important to keep
    falling in love with your spouse. Don’t let the romance die. -
    Wendy Neff Tonga
38. Been married 24 years and happier than ever! Remember that God
    made men and women different for different purposes. He
    doesn’t think l like you do, and you don’t think like he does.
    Understand that concept and be patient during your differences.
    And always be ready to forgive as you would want to be
    forgiven. -Gayle Dodic Bogs
39. Married almost 27 years. The best advice comes from my father
    and this is to never stop dating. As usual, father knows best!
    -Karen Zappavigna Hoogland
40. 33 years married. Live, laugh and love. My husband is my best
    friend. We enjoy each other’s company so much and never forget
    to go out on dates. We give compliments to one another and
    never go to sleep angry. Marriage is a long journey so we ride
    on it happily and relaxed. I’m praying that we will grow old
    together…I love my man. -Susan Barrientos- Baldoz
41. It’s a full time job and it was worth it for me…I am married 25
    years today. Three words to remember: Respect,
    Communication, Fidelity…it all starts there. -Linda Valerio Hayes
42. Been married 30 years: Treat each other the way you want to be
    treated. -Deanna Johnson
43. I’ve been married 38 years. We also run a family business
    together. My advice is: Learn to “let it go.” It’s going to be
    okay…even if you don’t get your way. Put it in perspective and
    realize there are others in the world that would love to trade
    for what you don’t even want. -Julie Golden Gross
44. I have been married 40 years this weekend. My advice is to be
    best friends, talk things over and don’t walk away at the first
    sign of trouble . Marriage should be for life. -Gillian Woolston
45. Talk to each other often. Spend time together & apart. Be
    truthful to each other. Keep the faith! Married 27 years! We just
    spent 26 days in an RV just us & we loved it! -Catherine Murry
    Matteucci
46. I am married 33 years and love my husband more with each
    passing day. The key is communication! He is my best friend. We
    are happiest when we are together. My happy place is with my
    husband. Best wishes to everyone. I also married when I was young
    and my husband is 10 years older than me. I can honestly say
    that I would marry the same man at the same age. I would
    change nothing! Oh I would also say, never take each other for
    granted. Always say thanks for the small things. Work on your
    marriage every day and again I say communicate! -Katie White
47. Almost 21 years for us. Commit to the statement: if its broken;
    fix it…don’t throw it away!! -Marcia Heflin Fleming
48. Married 27 years; together 32. You must be partners. Marriage is
    two contributions; never one taking. Always kiss goodnight and
    never argue over anything; it’s a waste of precious time.
    Compromise and understand you are different, that’s why you
    compliment one another. Laugh often. Share everything, even if
    you think the other won’t understand or it will hurt. Love is
    strength. -Sherry Beckwith
49. Been married almost 23 yrs (2 more weeks to our anniversary!). I
    think the best advice I have is “attitude.” Go into the marriage
    with the attitude that you WILL be together forever. WORK
    THINGS OUT with that goal in mind. If you keep the idea that
    “well, if this doesn’t work, I can just move on” then you don’t
    have the motivation to make things work. -Theresa McClure
50. It will be 21 yrs in January! Stick through the bad times. Be
    open and honest. Always try to make them feel special and
    tell them you love them all of the time. Have fun together!
    Encourage when they are down and rejoice in their happiness!
    Unconditional love! -Stacey Brown Treadwell