Man I like writing. Another drop of experience, this time a customer talked a big game and blew me off with "I'll think about it" and promptly left. At first I could not help but think I was bamboozled of my knowledge and time and energy, with the customer with the greatest power because in spite of all support in the form of spoken words by me obviously, they have the power to say no. Then I thought, my salary's stable, I'm not hurt, though I felt hurt by their 'no', but then I thought then again I had a vested interest in the communication and an expectation they would buy. Obviously the expectation is unfounded, I got what I deserved for holding an interest while speaking to them. What about the view of responsibility? Had I not divulged technical details about the products I'm selling I'm not fulfilling my responsibility as a sales to educate the consumer. I should look forward to the customer as consumer to in their life, make an educated decision about a future jacket they might purchase because of my input and influence. Even if I knew beforehand that they were not going to buy, like my uncle says, it's best to play dumb and go with the flow and fulfill my responsibility.
Who would I be if knowing a customer won't buy, I stop sharing information? I'd be acting in my interests to not waste my breath and energy and protecting myself in a way. When the direction is to relax instead of clam up in protection become supple and open and expansive. I asked myself what view I need to go in this direction. I decided a view I would be satisfied with is that regardless of outcome, I fulfilled my responsibility as a sales of my company to share all the benefits of my products. Even though they said no, that doesn't change the responsibility I hold and just fulfilled by speaking all I know about outdoor garments. Rather than the focus being on the situation and the outcome, rather change to it being about myself, who I am, what I would like to stand for, how I would like to interact with this world, instead of blaming the world through my reactions clamming up in self defence.
But this view doesn't change the overbearing view in me that by doing so and thinking in this way, I am becoming a better person and gaining value. So the self interest is still here, but I think it's been changed to an enlightened form of self interest wanting to act the part and have no self inflicted consequences of overindulging for example, or acting out in 'hidden' moments for example. Plus I'm applying the statement of know thyself by shifting focus onto how I am and directing that, discarding my feelings about how others are to instead focus on how I would like to be and living that. I apply 'Self first' by considering how I would like to interact with the world before considering at the last what possibly others are creating for themselves. Like who would they be if they spoke with hidden interest to gain all the knowledge I have and not return the favor, if it is a favor, and in spite of all my help they made a decision in themselves from the beginning to refuse and say "I'll think about it", and in this thinking they have won and ended up with benefit while I ended up with no benefit, who would they be? In my opinion, they become people involved in winning and losing, placing their focus on self protection and self interest as what they have to gain, rather than on how they can give more without they themselves judging themselves for giving more. Focusing on self protection is the basis of violence so they become more prone to violent behaviour.
Who would I be if I blamed them for saying no and thinking 'this is the way the corrupt world works' and because of this incident, becoming a little less open and unrestrained in my giving, influencing me to become a little self protective as well? I would rather focus on what and how I can give without ramifications or nasty side effects based on my self judgment of my behaviour, and actually apply self first and knowing myself first. Do you see the difference? Do you see why I can't help but feel I've become the better person, yet not at their expense? I'm taking direction with how I am and bloody deciding what my answers are going to be in response to the world. Instead of reacting to the world and making my decisions through reaction.
I cannot help but feel I am walking and holding my own hand to become more open and giving and all the good things about human nature by applying these words. I'm doing what my uncle stood as an example for, encountering all various forms of selfishness and greed, temptations, and learning not to be addicted to them, learning to be clear about the absolute necessities and comfort optional but unpressing unless you make it a desire necessities. I observe my uncle and see he's in rather good health and staying young in his way of doing things at 72. I think, it must be in how he lives, how he deals with all manner of circumstances, how he can see something happen and still be able to let it go and step back and see the bigger picture and actually be able to play dumb and let it go. But I see him deciding how he will act in spite of all events. I don't see him making any remark ever when things happen, he absorbs it in silence, pauses, waits a pretty long time, and whatever his actions they result in the situation getting better or someone gaining benefit without himself thinking he's lost his advantage, and he doesn't talk big. He speaks about only stuff he has lived and investigated and only shares the lessons within all his experiences that are best for all, even with his failures. What he speaks about he knows 100%, he's tried it or lived it and often talks about it in a way to reveal the common sense behind all the technical terms.
Aside from that I injured my right upper arm scratching it against a display rack. And I'm directing the point of overdiscipline by suffusing my things I do with adequate rest. And not particularly forcing myself by upholding an absolute standard by which I do things, instead I'm observing how I basically react to what needs to be done and slowing down within it. I'm discovering a tendency with people and things important to me to want to speed it up. Slowing down makes time go slower and in a sales job, that's killer. I've yet to find an incentive to do this. Energy is like fast food, it ticks the contentment box always temporarily but it's so easy to get and digest, you want to keep eating fast food, keep a high energy feeling. The physical is a different beast, it likes to go as slow as possible which is slower than how the mind wants it, which makes it excrutiating. Things build slowly, ever so slowly, and a day's work doesn't add up to much. You see it when you slow down with breathing. Nothing much ever is attained when sticking to the physical, it's easy to attain and feel like one is much better when entertaining energy, thoughts, emotions, feelings, personalities.
Today not alot happened, but I'm satisfied with today's entry being best for anyone to open up and relax. The time difference is secondary to your self experience wanting to go faster and defending yourself instead of deciding who you're going to become. There's basically no time difference with pausing every so often after an event's happened, and acting immediately on it. Not in the context of one measly human life.
