To go or to let go

_{I am doing everything right,
when it looks all wrong,
I'm looking for that inner peace,
when terror overpowers me.}

_{I shout in the wind,
to see if luck returns,
and evil will go with it,
and my peace returns in the face of calamity.}

_{But a scream comes out,
from my deepest bowels,
as if it wanted to break free,
that soul that guards me.}

_{It gives me life in this world,
I don't know if there is another existence,
but I think about it carefully,
and I want to repent.}

_{Because it has crossed a thought,
of those of the distant past,
running vitality in veins,
or even drown without breathing.}

_{This is how your world has treated me,
cruel life that does not leave me
to go on without proof,
of which I no longer want to overcome.}

_{But something holds me in despair,
does not want to see me go,
nor do I want to leave her alone,
it hurts me to see her like this.}

_{I feel I can't take it anymore,
I look to the sides lost,
as if there was no way,
nothing to go by way of exit.}

_{I want to die and be there,
in his memory,
not leave for convenience,
and forget my total existence}