Raccoons are like hobos, they live outside plus they don't like being shaved while they're eating.
The most disturbing thing about fossil fuels is when Larry King pisses into his gas tank and drives off.
""I'm laying by the pool. Better take a picture of my legs and post it on the internet."" - girls
How old do kids have to be when you can start saying ""Fuck you."" to their faces instead of behind their backs?
I went to my 35th high school reunion and realized that ""the one that got away"" turned into a ""dodged a bullet.""