Before my girlfriend moved in I always had one night stand Now that things are getting serious we have two night stands
When I'm home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
Q: What do you call a blind German? A: A Not See (Nazi)
Trump is a plant by the NRA to make liberals want to shoot someone
I just want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa... Not like the passengers in his car who were screaming quite loudly.