Why did the janitor get fired from the bank? Because he cleaned out the vault.
What's better than eating a mandarin? Eating a manda-out.
I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me. But has just never been awake long enough to carry them out.
A friend's uncle asked how to use Amazon. He may need an Internet primer... ...do you think Sherwin-Williams makes one?
I offered a homeless man the rest of my Pumpkin Spiced Latte.. He said ""No thanks. I'm homeless, not a fag.""