My wife and I were happy for twenty years... Then we met.
You know it's time for a pedicure when you can exfoliate one foot with the other one
My sister is so dim she thinks that a cartoon is a song you sing in a car.
My standards are so high they just recorded a reggae song.
Is there a button you can push to take back when you're accidentally nice to someone, so they know you still hate them?
