What kind of room doesn't have any doors/windows inside? A mushroom.
I applied for a position as a stenographer, but I was disqualified when the blood test came back. Turns out I'm Type-O Plentiful.
Have you heard the one about the suicidal farmer that liked to mutilate cows? He was a danger to himself and udders. Edit: Spelling
Salad is the decaf of food.
Sorry I put a Gryffindor scarf on the baby Jesus in your nativity scene and called him Hermione Manger.