*at funeral* Thank you all for coming. As you already know, my dignity has left us. I tripped in front of all my coworkers. It was tragic.
I ought to start doing more with my weekends than just sit at home drinking beer, jacking off to porno mags and playing minesweeper. I do enough of those things at work.
Duck. A duck walks into a bar. The barman asks ""What will it be?"" The duck doesn't answer because he's a duck.
You know why people insisted on calling the Higgs Boson for ""the God particle""? Because since the Higgs Boson gives mass to tiny particles, they imagined that it had to be a tiny priest.
This sub has the most AMAzing jokes on Reddit.
