Why is a sorority the safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse? Because they're looking for braaaaaaaaaains
I once dated a girl who owned a parrot. The thing would never shut the f@#K-up! but the parrot was cool though!
Did you hear about the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner.
How many /r/Jokes users does it take to screw in a lightbulb Six. One to actually do it, and five to complain how it's the same one they've seen before.
Just ran outside in a t shirt & panties to save a bird from my cat's mouth. My kid thinks I'm a hero. My neighbor wants to have drinks later