Why was the turkey (bird) named after the country? Because fuck you that's why
I found a Squirtle in my pants & I'm not even playing Pokemon Go!
According to my doctor, it'd be healthiest to stay away from trans fats. I'm really going to miss tumblr.
They hired a comedian at the local construction site. Everyone loves him. You could say he was really nailing it.
If Jennifer Lawrence was a poet, what would her name be? Maya Ingenue