My parents are in town and said they'd be at my house in ten minutes, and I'm wondering if that's enough time to build a moat.
I'm not afraid of death, so much as I am of dying! I wanna die how my father died, peacefully in his sleep, not like his screaming terrified passengers! *Gotham, Mondays on Fox*
Why don't hipsters live in Alaska? Everything is cool there already.
The number of times you've found a hair in your food is not nearly as scary as the number of times you haven't.
What do mathematicians and ravers have in common They both search for X