People drive like shit when I'm texting.
Why Did the Native Americans Car Break Down? Their Injun died on them!
[USPS] M: *hands change of address form* C: Ma'am, this just says ""bathtub."" M: I live there now. C: We can't send mail to a bathtub. M: Yay
what did my sperm get for easter? an egg hunt!
I'm going to bed and my hair looks amazing; I feel like the woman in every mattress commercial.