My girlfriend HATES it when I sneak up on her. According to her lawyer she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend ( ._.)
Why do boys walk fast and girls speak more? Because boys have one extra leg and girls have one extra mouth.
Yesterday I was just a dude in a hoody whispering Black Sabbath lyrics to a goat. Today, I am the leader of a petting zoo cult.
What fruits do vampires eat? Blood oranges.
What Do You Call A Bad Mexican Restaurant? Shitpotle