What is the difference between British and American schoolchildren? British schoolchildren survive hide-and-seek.
Jesus may have walked on water but Steven Hawking runs.. ..on batteries.
A friend and me were arguing over whether masterbation is better with lube or not . . . different strokes for different folks, I guess. (I think I came up with that but I'm not sure)
Sometimes my dog barks so loud she farts which coincidentally is also Donald Trump's foreign policy platform. (Also his domestic platform.)
Any celebrities who are thinking of dying soon, please befriend me so I can relate a moving and humorous anecdote when you pass.
