My Dad wrote an ok joke Dad: You know Trump just wants to be a penis potato. Me: ...What? Dad: He wants to be a Dick-tator
Him: Are you gonna kill me? Me: WHAT? Him: Your mood swings. I figured today's the day I die. Me: Him: *whispers* Please don't hurt me.
Is it just me... ...or are circles pointless?
*sends you a pic of a kitten* *you reply, ""Awe""* *face melts* *responds, ""We've been over this already, it's ""Aww""* *deletes your number*
""You know, the average woman does it at least 8 times a year in her sleep."" -Peter Parker attempting to convince Mary Jane to swallow