whats white with red stripes and crawls slowly over the floor? Freshly whipped masochist!
How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)
After much consideration, I do not believe Wolverine in the X-Men movies is real. It's obviously just a huge act, man.
What has 200 legs 50 noses and is very loud? A herd of stampeding aardvarks!
Wife: What are you gonna do today? Me: Shower. W: ...what else? M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.