I recently bought a dog from a Blacksmith... And as soon as I got him into the house he made a bolt for the door.
How did Jesus get those sexy messiah abs? He did crossfit.
6-year-old: Spill me some milk. Me: You mean ""pour."" 6: Not the way you do it.
Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven.
A woman stumbles into the police headquarters....... And says ""Help me! I was raped by an Irishman!"" The police are quick to ask ""How do you know it was an Irishman?"" ""because I had to help him.....""