I can't even... ...so I guess I'm odd.
What do a glass of water and an Atheist have in common? Jesus can make them both wine.
How do you get down off an elephant? You don't. You get down off a duck.
Chuck Norris won an award today Kanye West sat politely in his seat.
How many deadbeat dads does it take to change a lightbulb? I wouldn't know, mine's never around. (Alternately: ""Well, he went out to get one..."")