Why did the blonde have an Abortion? She wasn't convinced the baby was hers.
People drive like shit when I'm texting.
What is the Earth's most juvenile lake? Lake Titicaca of course!
What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a pit bull? The pit bull will eventually let go.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a pretty obscure number, you've probably never heard of it...