Give a man fire... Keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for the rest of his life.
""Dad, am I adopted?"" ""No. We haven't found anybody who wants you yet.""
An apple a day..... Causes job shortages in the hospital. Have a burger instead!
Got caught checking out another woman? Turn to your woman and say ""Did you see how ugly that girl's hair was?""
How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Not 6, because it's still dark down there...