What makes an elderly millionaire bachelor more attractive? Terminal illness.
[first date] Me: that is hilarious Date: ... Me: wait, bread or dead? Date: how would my parents be bread?
My sister asked me to take of her clothes too!! She's a quadriplegic, and is incapable of doing so by herself.
I hate Sharknado, it is SO unrealistic. Rain? In California? Did they even pretend to research for this movie?
I keep a knife in my Bible so if someone wants to kill me, I ask to read it & when I get to the 6th Commandment, I stab them in the face.