a district administrator was offered a large bribe to fire some of the heads of his local schools but he stuck by his principals
JESUS: today im going to walk on water JUDAS: NO DONT-- [jesus walks onto ocean. entire ocean turns to wine. all ocean life dies instamtly]
Wearing crocs is like getting a blow job from a dude It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay
I think my wife has a surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed.
So a termite walks into a bar... ...and asks, ""Hey, is the bar tender here?""